CurvedSpace Forums: Why you should never lie... - CurvedSpace Forums

The setting takes place in the middle of March '08. The story about how a single person's lie could have impacted my entire life--for worse.

This is kind of an epiphany that I've had recently...a situation that brought me down to earth and helped my fragile teenaged soul to realize how vulnerable I really am...and how vulnerable you should be too. Also, it's a bit of an update of my recent life.

Picture yours truly, sitting at his computer, lounging one Tuesday evening. Nothing is going on--so I'm browsing around facebook. I get a notification. "New Friend Request." I click it and observe. It's a younger girl from my school. Says she's single and looking for a relationship. Now...I've never heard of this girl. But she's kind of cute. Those that know me should know that I don't say that about all girls...I have strict criteria to fill--and I definitely wouldn't take her over an equally handsome guy. So I accepted the friend request and observed her profile. Looks like she was new...and I mean -brand new-. She had two other friends than me, both guys that I didn't know. I assumed they were all Freshmen...since...heh. I don't know the new kids at all. I move to her wall. It's empty. So I fill out a post following the lines of "Hey, cutie." and "Welcome to facebook."

Soon after she sends me an inbox message on facebook, telling me to add her to MSN. I do so. Immediately after, we start talking. She's...really not very bright at all. She's tall for her age, she drinks in private, and she cuts herself to solve her emotional issues. Problem is...she's totally interested in me. I let her toy with the idea for a while and let her dream. There's no crime in that--or is there? After a while of talking, I finally pop the big question that was bugging me in the back of my mind.

"So...are you a Freshman? I've never heard of you before."
"No. I'm from the Jr. High."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm from G.M.M.S. (Georgia Morris Middle School)"
"...Then...how old are you?"
"Fourteen."
"..."
"How old are you?"
"Seventeen."
"Holy s**t!"
"...Yeah..."
"What grade are you?"
"I'm a Junior."
"What's that?"
"*facepalm* Eleventh Grade."
"I'm only Eighth."

Now the state laws state that minors (Under the age of 17) can engage in sexual intercourse with each other so long as each participant is within 3+/- years of each other. For example...legally, I could have intercourse with her right now if I wanted to. If she wanted to. In two months...that changes. It states in South Dakota law that all adults (18+) can be charged for statutory rape of ANY minor (Under the age of 17). Last time I checked, statutory rape is a serious offense and it definitely sticks on your permanent record.

I went back to her facebook page and checked things out. True, she -was- just very tall for her age...and true, her breasts were fairly large for her age (larger than some girls in -my- class...though still B cups), but then it hit me. I looked at schools... T.F. Riggs High (my high school). She lied...she lied about her age. About her school. And apparently...all of her friends did too.

For those of you that don't know, facebook was made for college kids but was later altered for high school kids. It is AGAINST THEIR POLICY to allow anyone younger than ninth grade. She not only lied to me, she lied to facebook. She wasn't able to list her middle school because it's not a valid option. It's not facebook's fault--they have regulations!

So here I am, trying to cope and let this girl down easy. But at the same time...I want to hurt her. I want to let her drop. She speaks and acts like she knows love. She's had multiple boyfriends and she lost her virginity when she was drunk. No condom, big surprise, where's the sex-ed money going these days? So...I turn 18 in about a month and a half. May 4th. I don't plan on being remotely NEAR her.

Now some of you might find this last paragraph sexist. But god damn it. I can say it; I'm bisexual and I might as well be gay. Women aren't the only people that do this--but on average, they do it a hell of a lot more than guys do. Don't. Lie. About. Your age. I went down that street before. Being mature isn't the number of years you've lived. It's about realizing that you've never lived a minute until you're honest.

Don't lie. Try not to lie. White lies are fine--this. This is not a white lie. Don't let this stuff happen to you.

On a side note--paintball season is starting up soon and I've got a new gun and load out for it. I'll be sure to take pictures and a video or two! Expect to see "Sijon 2: The Vixen Defender" appear. The gun itself is an Evil Omen (Evil: Brand; Gun type: Omen) if you want to do some research of your own.

--Ruckus

Welcome to the facts of life?

This is why I don't bother with social networking sites.

Well, one of many reasons.

Wow.

I really think I can sympathize with your desire to hurt this girl. I have big problems with cutters, and with drinkers to begin with. Then I have problems with people who throw their virginity away. That makes this girl a triple offense in my book.

But that doesn't make her evil. Mark me, I would never associate myself with her, but I'm not sure that letting yourself get angry and really doing something hurtful would teach her a lesson. In this kind of situation, people have to teach themselves their own lesson, because they won't listen to anyone else. I've really reamed people up and down about drinking, smoking, etc. before, and it never works; and it's because they can just go to their local neighborhood slime-bag and have their actions praised.

Agree on most, but gosh darnit I ain't bisexual and if I want to say it I will, and besides that being truthful means you'll probably hurt someone along the way.



Disagree strongly. I don't enjoy lies at all. I have lied and it never turns out good, even "white lies" can eat you up fast -- especially considering all white lies lead to even more lies.

"Did you eat your greens?"

"Yes."

"Did they taste good?"

... etc




Nothing you can ever say will ever change their views, unless they are truly ready to change themselves.

This...really wasn't a chance for you guys to lecture me. I've made my decision and I've already carried it out. This was a lesson for everyone else. Take it for what it's worth.

--Ruckus

Great, a Jr. High School, slutty, attention whore. This one appears to be a class 3... lets see here...
*flips pages*
You seem to have carried out your actions according to proper protocols. Continue your work, good sir. *walks off*



On another note, my sex ed class (in my junior year lol) told me that the AVERAGE age for kids to have sex is 12.
You can imagine the wonderful information I got from there.

Edit: It WAS wonderful information. Sorry.
I'd read syphilis pamphlets to kids on xbox live for a quick laugh.

Yay for arbitrary boundaries.

Same in California, with the clarification that minor + adult within 3 years is only a misdemeanor, whereas minor + adult outside of 3 years can be a misdemeanor or a felony (which would get you registered as a sex offender for life, and all that fun stuff).

We've also got two more bits of stupidity. Firstly, the 3 years is calculated by a simple subtraction; not the actual difference in age. A couple could be considered 3 years apart one day, and 4 years the next. And secondly, our state seems to enjoy pressing charges on behalf of the "victim," even when everyone involved says there's no harm.

Hooray.

I get weird invites on Bebo all the time, just don't accept from people you don't know. :$

Things like that is the reason why I avoid facebook and myspace and things like that.

Lies. I has your Bebo and Live Space. xD

I don't use those anymore though.

A more appropriate title for this topic is "why facebook and websites like it are stupid".

People lie on social networks all the time. I know a friend of my brothers who is only 12, yet on his Bebo page he says he's 15, lol not sure how he gets away with it

Usually if they find out that you've lied they will delete your profile. That happened to my brother a while back and since then he's decided he was bored with it anyway and won't make another one until he is 13 (the age you can make a bebo profile). But he could of lied, he's very sneaky XD It will just get deleted again anyway.

Not so. I use facebook to keep in contact with all of my college friends. Other than -that-...yes, it's stupid.

Phieta--I think our laws might be the same...I should really look into it word for word about year subtracting.

Charlie--Yes, I know that facebook would delete her profile...problem is. They just won't stop doing it. Her friend's list is identity of that. All of those kids are 8th graders from the middle school...think how many more there are without being friends? Ugh...I hate children.

--Ruckus

Most of the time, yes. Sure, it might be nice for keeping in touch with RL friends, but many people simply don't use it that way. IME, social networking sites are outlets for people to be fake.

The vast majority of students at my high school use Facebook. I have an account, but I only log in periodically to see who insists on sending me messages and friend requests. About 50% of friend requests I receive are from people I've never even talked to. What's up with that? Are you really their friend? To that end, most people have 200+ "friends" on their page. How many of those "friends" do they communicate with?

Some people are brave enough to go further than simply send a friend request. I've had several girls that I don't know start an online conversation with me. I'll reply to be polite, but I usually tell them that I'd rather talk in person. Most don't message me back after that. Some will agree to meet somewhere during lunch, before school, etc. They never show. Those that have classes with me don't even shoot me a passing glance and essentially sprint out the door after the bell rings. Are people really that shy, or is it something else?

One of these incidents happened just last week. I opened a conversation on Facebook with a girl in my French class. I told her that I'd rather talk in person. I never received confirmation, so I decided to seek her out. On Tuesday and Wednesday, she shot out of class before I could say hello. On Thursday, she happened to sit by me during a quiz. I wished her good luck, and she thanked me and looked down. Yesterday, I finally got her to talk. There was about 10 minutes of class left after our test, so I got up and sat down in the chair next to her. She started talking, but I had to try hard to keep the conversation going. When class ended, I told her goodbye and she took off toward her friends. I know she's not a shy girl. Does talking online make it too awkward to talk in person? I think social networking sites are contributing to the degradation of interpersonal communication in our generation .