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Cameo Lover

Posted by JGJTan  Icon, 14 April 2012 - 09:32 AM

I swear my life is filled with drama, as so many people like to point out, and so many people actually have throughout the past week.

It's not my fault! Pretty much it just seems like everything just sticks to me all at once and I just have no idea what to do with it all. Especially this Jack thing. At this point in time, I'm feeling like I'm at the okay-I've-had-my-fill-and-I'm-over-him-now stage like it always happens every single time we meet up. It's always a fleeting moment in time, but for that one small cameo in my life everything seems complete and fulfilled. I don't know. It's probably (well, it always seems to be) because he hasn't replied to anything I've said or sent him ever since we met up again. I mean, he accepted my Facebook friend request and that's it. No response whatsoever. So I'm pretty much in the dark, but I guess it could be down to the fact that he's naturally an anti-social person...

Ahh how history loves to repeat itself over and over again. Bloody hell. I could take a hammer to history if I had the ability to. But then again, everything happens for a reason. We learn from our experiences no matter how fantastic or frustrating they are, and it's up to us to take and understand what we need to from each event. In this case, I guess my hope always overrides every logical thought process going through my brain. I mean, yes he said he liked me but I don't know what he feels now, and I guess that is what is keeping me bound to him.

Well, bound within limits. There'll always be a spot for him in my thoughts, but I guess it's always an unexpected encounter which brings him back to the surface.

I find it oddly hilarious though. Every single time he pops up into my life, it's either before or after I'm interested in someone else. Like for example, my current situation...

Okay. Quick backtrack. It's quite amusing how a few years ago, or several years rather, I was an absolute prude. Well, I kind of still am in some senses, but I really ain't nowadays. I mean, it always came with maintaining an aura of control and proper decorum. There was no way in hell my old self would agree with what I currently am like now. Well actually, in some senses I was a lot more liberated back in the day with what I did, but now I guess what has changed is my experience of everything. Before I'd have been snarling at every single person who tried to hit on me (which I did quite a bit actually and I have no idea why) but nowadays... well... I'm somewhat different haha!

Well, I guess you could say we all have that time in our lives when we just have to let loose with everything. I mean, I grew up way too fast early in my childhood so I pretty much turned into a prudish adult by the time I was in my mid-teens. And then when I met Jem, I pretty much was bound into a long-term relationship without having properly been with anyone else beforehand. Post-Jem, I still stayed within my bubble for months and months... until something happened. I have no idea what, but suddenly everything just changed and I decided to go for it.

So you could say I started becoming a slight bit of a slut haha! And by slut in my terms, I mean hardly anything, but it was still more than I'd ever done. Trust me. I ain't like all them others who just sleep around every single night or like have a different person each time. I just thought I'd try something different...

The most hilarious part of this story, is that I'm not even halfway through my story and I just got a text from this guy that I met at bingo on Wednesday night who just invited me around to go and watch a movie. Wow. So I'm like not a slut, but this is making me sound like one. Seriously though, I can't do anything because I just had my wisdom teeth taken out on Thursday night so I've gotta keep my blood pressure at a normal rate otherwise I'll risk bursting my stitches and bleeding everywhere. So shame. I ain't being a slut. I'm just going to go and watch a movie with this boy.

Anyway. Back to the story since I'm on a clock now. Actually, there ain't much to say. I'm pretty sure that little interruption can help to fill in the gaps which I've left wide open to interpretation. Let's just say that it always seems to be bingo, and that me and Courtney always have our "turns" but for some reason I've had my turn twice in a row and she calls it unfair. It's not my fault! It just happened!

But I kinda like this guy. I got all girly and sh*t over him once he left in the morning, and even then he really didn't want to go. And then when I texted him just before, he replied back saying that he was literally about to text me but I'd beaten him to it. And now he's giving up on his assignment to keep me company while I'm all alone without friends whilst unable to do anything at all in my condition. I ain't even going to risk a drink! Well, maybe one. But even then it's cute because he wanted to talk to me! And then I got all giddy waiting for his replies back. The only problem is he's taking ages to reply back each time, but that could also be my own phone since it's really crap and I swear I don't receive half the messages I should be getting.

Sometimes I think I'm just a bit too gay and a bloody girl for my liking.

So yes, I'm off to go watch a movie with this boy now. It was crack up because when we were talking at the bar on Wednesday night, he suddenly threw in a Mean Girls quote and I quickly retorted with another, and then I had to tell him that Elly had just sent me a text message with another Mean Girls quote earlier that day. So for the rest of the night half our conversation was just sarcastic plastic. It was great.

Okay, I'd better go now. I'd have finished this write up properly, and with actual information, but I guess this blog entry is yet another fleeting moment in my life. Toodles!

~ Jonny

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