CurvedSpace Forums: Lightbulb Jokes - CurvedSpace Forums

Jump to content

Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • {lang:pm_locked} This topic is locked

Lightbulb Jokes

#1 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Link Oh Ki {lang:icon}

  • Master Link
  • Icon
  • Group: New Member
  • Posts: 22
  • Joined: 11-May 04

Posted 22 May 2004 - 11:32 PM

I like lightbulb jokes, so here's some of my favourates:-

Q1. how many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. no one knows, because they never get to keep the house:P



Q2. How many system administrators does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None, they just deny everyone access to the room.


Q3. How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Three:
One to write the light bulb removal program,
One to write the light bulb insertion program, and
One to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure
Nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.


Q4. How many hardware engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. None, they just have marketing sell the burnt-out bulb as a feature.


Q5. How many hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. Huh?... What? Oh, it's dark in here?


Q6. How many jugglers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A. Only one, but it takes at least three lightbulbs.


Q7. How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up.


Q8. How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A1. Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write about how it felt.
A2. Three. One to screw it in, and two to talk about the sexual implications.
A3. Four. One to change the bulb, and three to write about how the bulb is exploiting the socket.
A4. Three. One to change the bulb, and two to secretly wish they were the socket.
A5. Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to kick the balls of any man who even tries to volunteer his help.

Q9. How many investment brokers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. "My god, it burnt out ! Sell all my general electric stock, NOW !!!"


Q10. How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. None. It turned itself in.


Q11. How many automechanics does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A. Five. One to force it with a hammer, and four to go out for more lightbulbs.

That's enough for today, back to fletching.
user posted image

<marquee direction="up">Link Oh Ki
Level 79
Hitpoints 65
Attack 64
Strengh 70
Defense 57
Ranged 51
Prayer 46
Magic 55
Runecraft 27
Agility 37
Herblore 30
Thieving 43
Crafting 52
Fletching 60
Mining 62
Smithing 49
Fishing 53
Cooking 56
Firemaking 73
Woodcutting 65
Skill Total 1015
</marquee>
0

#2 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ferret Overlord {lang:icon}

  • Citizen Snips
  • Icon
  • Group: Moderator
  • Posts: 4,558
  • Joined: 21-February 03
  • Location:Here

Posted 23 May 2004 - 01:37 AM

How many Californian Princesses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2
1 to call Daddy
and 1 to pour the tab

HI! I'M BACK SPORADICALLY! Nobody probably remembers me :(
0

#3 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Roadtoad6 {lang:icon}

  • Playing WoW. Where has my life gone?
  • Icon
  • Group: New Member
  • Posts: 423
  • Joined: 08-April 04
  • Location:Here

Posted 23 May 2004 - 05:01 PM

QUOTE (Link Oh Ki @ May 22 2004, 07:32 PM)
Q8. How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

i got a different answer!


How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




16. One to screw in the light bulb, fifteen to form a support group! biglaugh.gif
0

#4 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ferret Overlord {lang:icon}

  • Citizen Snips
  • Icon
  • Group: Moderator
  • Posts: 4,558
  • Joined: 21-February 03
  • Location:Here

Posted 23 May 2004 - 06:22 PM

How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None
"Feh. I'll sit in the dark"
HI! I'M BACK SPORADICALLY! Nobody probably remembers me :(
0

#5 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Link Oh Ki {lang:icon}

  • Master Link
  • Icon
  • Group: New Member
  • Posts: 22
  • Joined: 11-May 04

Posted 01 June 2004 - 07:11 PM

Q. How many mines does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. ........ ........... ....... ............. ............ .......................
user posted image

<marquee direction="up">Link Oh Ki
Level 79
Hitpoints 65
Attack 64
Strengh 70
Defense 57
Ranged 51
Prayer 46
Magic 55
Runecraft 27
Agility 37
Herblore 30
Thieving 43
Crafting 52
Fletching 60
Mining 62
Smithing 49
Fishing 53
Cooking 56
Firemaking 73
Woodcutting 65
Skill Total 1015
</marquee>
0

#6 {lang:macro__useroffline}   MA-53 {lang:icon}

  • For Sproogle
  • Icon
  • {lang:view_blog}
  • Group: Super Moderator
  • Posts: 1,372
  • Joined: 16-November 03
  • Location:Here

Posted 01 June 2004 - 10:44 PM

Q: how many women with PMS does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: ONE, JUST ONE!! AND DO YOU KNOW WHY?!?! BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE IN THIS STINKING HOUSE WILL GET OFF THEIR *** TO DO IT!!!

Q: how many zen monks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: just one, to put the lightbulb in the socket and let the world turn around him.

Q: how many football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: a whole team, plus a pep rally, and twenty half-naked cheerleaders to get them in the game!

Q: how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 21. One to screw it in, and 20 to learn from the experience.

Q: how many tech geeks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 57, 54 to research and develope, 1 to hire a team of experts to build the machine, and 1 to press the "start" button.
0

#7 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ferret Overlord {lang:icon}

  • Citizen Snips
  • Icon
  • Group: Moderator
  • Posts: 4,558
  • Joined: 21-February 03
  • Location:Here

Posted 02 June 2004 - 01:56 AM

How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
70
1 to find the right end, one to find the socket, and 68 to figure out how to use the lightswitch.

This post has been edited by Garunda Te: 02 June 2004 - 10:10 PM

HI! I'M BACK SPORADICALLY! Nobody probably remembers me :(
0

#8 {lang:macro__useroffline}   asyluman {lang:icon}

  • Yeah.
  • Icon
  • Group: Moderator
  • Posts: 1,781
  • Joined: 10-May 04
  • Location:Here

Posted 02 June 2004 - 09:48 PM

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: One. Just say the word "screw" and they're all over ya'!
Shake: I'm on TV a lot. This is my sitcom, with the--
Shake (On TV): I'm in your house.
Shake:...
Meatwad:...
Shake: With the sci-fi horror twist.
0

#9 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ferret Overlord {lang:icon}

  • Citizen Snips
  • Icon
  • Group: Moderator
  • Posts: 4,558
  • Joined: 21-February 03
  • Location:Here

Posted 02 June 2004 - 10:08 PM

... alienhuh.gif
I hope you mean hardware.



How many philosiphers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, one to figure out it's true purpose, and one to declare it an omen.

This post has been edited by Garunda Te: 02 June 2004 - 10:11 PM

HI! I'M BACK SPORADICALLY! Nobody probably remembers me :(
0

Page 1 of 1
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • {lang:pm_locked} This topic is locked

2 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users