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Microsoft's Cars Need I say more?

#1 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ninten {lang:icon}

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Posted 22 May 2004 - 06:31 PM

QUOTE
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side! of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a! new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive al l over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Do I hear a LOL?
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#2 {lang:macro__useroffline}   CongressJon {lang:icon}

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Posted 24 May 2004 - 10:35 AM

ROFL LMAO!!! biglaugh.gif

Amen.

QUOTE
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

Love that.
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#3 {lang:macro__useroffline}   CongressJon {lang:icon}

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Posted 24 May 2004 - 09:20 PM

Despite the double post...

It's like Microsoft makes a car. Guy starts the engine.

Computer: Engine warming up. One percent...

TWO HOURS LATER

Computer: 99 percent...

Guy's foot is on the pedal...

Computer: One-hun-

Guy slams foot on the pedal!

(Atomic explosion)

CD Player is flying through the air...

CD Player: 99 percent

TheSmile.gif
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#4 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Sproogle {lang:icon}

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Posted 24 May 2004 - 11:24 PM

LMAO!!! Car jokes can be good, and those in particular are hilarious.





I hate that little light that comes on and says: CHECK ENGINE. It may as well just say UH-OH, or YOURE SCREWED.
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#5 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ratty {lang:icon}

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Posted 24 May 2004 - 11:42 PM

QUOTE
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.


lolz!!!! soo funny.
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#6 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Muler {lang:icon}

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Posted 24 May 2004 - 11:47 PM

spit.gif That's actually really funny!
-The Infamous-

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#7 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ferret Overlord {lang:icon}

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Posted 25 May 2004 - 03:51 AM

Your windshield suddenly is blocked with a Norton add saying,"Updates Ready to install" *SCHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH**CRASH*BOOM*

"Installation, complete"
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#8 {lang:macro__useroffline}   CongressJon {lang:icon}

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Posted 25 May 2004 - 10:30 AM

ROFL LMAO

On the highway, you're car suddenly begins to emit "This program is not responding", louder and faster each time, until it sounds like a mouse is saying it. Then... "Ending task."

BOOOOM!
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#9 {lang:macro__useroffline}   claw4prey {lang:icon}

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Posted 01 July 2004 - 04:09 PM

that was funny! just shows how much windows sucks!

This post has been edited by claw4prey: 01 July 2004 - 04:10 PM

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#10 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ferret Overlord {lang:icon}

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Posted 10 July 2004 - 01:47 PM

...
MAC sucks, Windows is just annoying.
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#11 {lang:macro__useroffline}   fugi_42_03 {lang:icon}

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Posted 10 July 2004 - 02:01 PM

drivin down the road and ur windshield turns blue saying, "fatal error has occured" please reboot. smak "car hits a dog and flips" "dont ask me how just does" b00m......ur dead
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#12 {lang:macro__useroffline}   serpharimon {lang:icon}

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Posted 10 July 2004 - 06:35 PM

QUOTE (Ferret Overlord @ Jul 10 2004, 01:47 PM)
...
MAC sucks, Windows is just annoying.

i have Windows XP Home Edition, nothing wrong has happened yet.. well, only thing that has gone wrong is my computer not being so good for gaming.. but meh..

but did GM actually print that out?
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#13 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ferret Overlord {lang:icon}

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Posted 10 July 2004 - 11:37 PM

My only problem was that my mother board was screwed up. Nothing $339 can't fix.

Not to mention the power supply, the graphics card and the disk drive.

But that was my fault...
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