I Just Scripted A Whole Family Guy Episode

Family Guy “Exercise of the Mind Control”
A Ferret Overlord Typing (Okay, so maybe I wasn't crazy enough to do the whole show....just 1 half. The other was done buy this guy I know named Chris)

OPENING SCENE – Act I: Exterior of Griffin House. Cut to Peter, and Chris on the couch in the living room watching TV. We then see the scene on TV as Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa is onboard a boat at sea. Tricia Takanawa: Thank you Diane. I’m onboard the S.S. Nemo where the crew is engaging in deep sea exploration off the coast of Rhode Island. (Camera reveals a grizzled man in a fisherman’s suit next to Trisha.) Here with me now is the Captain of the S.S. Nemo. Captain Morton, what exactly is your mission today? Captain Morton: Well, we believe that the sunken wreck of the S.S. Quahog is somewhere directly below us. We have one diver down in the water right now and we are expecting him to be back at any moment with a detailed account of what he saw down below. Tricia Takanawa: And, Captain, how long can your diver stay under water before he has to resurface? Captain Morton: (Directs attention to an air compression unit. There are quite a few hoses laying around. Two hoses go off the side of the ship.) Well, this air unit right here can provide up to 3 hours of continuous air supply... (The Captain sees that one of the hoses which is slung over the side is not attached to the air unit.) Oh no, oh my God! (He grabs the hose and pulls on it. We now see that the other end is not attached to anything either.) Oh, thank God. (He grabs onto the other line which is slung over the side of the boat.) This must be the right air line. Tricia Takanawa: And where is that line attached? Captain Morton: Well, let’s just have a look. (The Captain follows the air line until it is seen that the air line is hooked up to the tail pipe of an idling car.) Oh no, oh my God! No cameras! Turn off the cameras! (The Captain comes at the cameras and then the screen goes fuzzy.)
Cut back to Peter and Chris sitting on the couch. Chris: Dad, when a diver is under the water, what does he do when he has to go potty? Peter: I don’t really know son, but I’m sure that they take a lot of training so that they know just what to do. Cut to a shot of a diver in full wet suit and flippers sitting on the side of a boat. We see that he is reading a book titled: “20,000 Leaks Under the Sea.” - OPENING THEME MUSIC -
Act II: We see a shot of Peter’s boat out at see. Now we see closer as Peter and Brian are aboard. Peter is steering and Brian is watching. The two Portuguese fisherman are seen in the background. Peter: Ah, Brian, this is the life. Out on the open sea. Just you and me. I think this is the perfect job. Nobody to tell me what to do. Brian: Yeah, Peter. I knew you’d like to be your own boss, but I just never saw you as a man of the sea. Peter: What are you talking about Brian? I’ve always been a man of the sea. Cut to a shot of a young kid standing on a rock wall. Water is seen on both sides of the rock wall. Ala. “Free Willy.” Kid: Jump Willy! Jump! Come on, you can make it Willy! We now see as a naked Peter jumps out of the water. Instead of clearing the rock wall he ends up landing on the kid. Peter: Who the bleargh is Willy? We now see as Willy jumps out of the water. Instead of clearing the rock wall, Willy ends up landing on the naked Peter. Cut back to Peter and Brian on the boat. Brian: Peter, I know you love this business but what are you going to do during the winter? You know that we’re already into iceberg season, right? Peter: Iceberg season, that’s nonsense. I’ve never seen icebergs out here.
Brian: (Now looking over the edge of the boat and pointing.) What about that iceberg? (We see a large iceberg nearing the boat.) Peter: Holy crap! Peter spins the wheel away from the iceberg. We see as the boat turns just enough to avoid the iceberg. Cut back to Peter and Brian. Peter: Wow! That was close. Good thing you saw that iceberg Brian. Suddenly the boat comes to a crashing stop and everyone is knocked forwards. We now see as the boat has smashed into an island with a light house. Cut back to Peter and Brian on the boat. They look over the side of the boat and see that the island has split it wide open. Peter: Aw, great! Just freakin’ great! Where were you on that one Brian? How am I supposed to explain this to Lois? Brian: Well... you could just tell her the truth. Peter: No, no, no! It never works out when I tell Lois the truth. Cut to Peter and Lois in their bedroom. Peter: Okay, Lois, I have to be honest with you. Yes, those pants do make your butt look fat. Lois: Why the bleargh did you say that?! I only asked if you wanted toast or bacon. Peter: Oh, just toast; the bacon‘ll just go straight to your turkey!
Act III: Exterior of the Griffin house. Cut to the interior of the living room. Lois is in the living room standing in front of the TV. She is doing some sort of exercises. We hear on the TV that she is watching an exercise tape. Chris comes down the stairs and sees his mom. Chris: Alright Mom! That looks cool. Can I try it? Lois: Sure Chris, just join in and try to do exactly what the lady on the tape is doing. Chris now stands beside his Mom doing some easy exercises. We now see the scene on TV. The woman is doing the same exercise. Then she stops. Woman: Alright, now lets lay down on our backs and we’ll try a different exercise. (She lays on her back on a blue mat.) Okay, we’re going to bring our knees up and do a stomach crunch at the same time. And 1... and 2... and 3... Cut back to see Lois doing the same movements as the woman on the tape. Lois: So, Chris, how do you like this exercise? The camera pans right to see that Chris’ left leg is twisted up behind his neck. He is definitely stuck. Chris: Feel the burn! Oh, it burns! It burns! Lois stops the exercise tape and helps Chris to get untangled. Peter and Brian come in the front door. Lois: Hi guys... you’re home awfully early. How was the fishing? Brian: Yeah Peter, tell Lois how the fishing went.
Peter: Well Lois, like I said on the accident report. This lighthouse island just appeared out of nowhere! In fact, I blame the whole thing on David Copperfield. That guy has caused me nothin’ but trouble for years. Cut to a shot of a younger Peter standing in front of a group of small children – a young Meg is sitting among the group. Peter is reading them a story from a book. Peter: And then the rabbit hopped, and he hopped, and he hopped, all the way through the garden until... We see a puff of smoke as David Copperfield appears next to Peter. David Copperfield looks at Peter and then we see another puff of smoke. When the smoke clears we see that David Copperfield has disappeared and has taken Peter’s pants and shirt. Peter: (Looking back to the story.) Okay, where were we..? Cut back to the living room. Peter: But to make a long story short... the boat is pretty much totaled. Lois: Totaled?! Oh, Peter, I know how much you loved that boat. Are you going to be okay? Peter: Yeah Lois, I’ll be alright. I was going to have to stop my fishing business in the winter anyways. Brian: So Peter, did you have anything in mind for work now that you’re unemployed. Peter: I’ve been weighing a couple of my options.
Cut to see that Peter is thinking of several job opportunities. First we see that he is thinking he could be a policeman with Joe. Peter and Joe burst into a drug den with guns drawn. Four mobster-looking characters are sitting around a table playing cards. Peter: No one move! You’re all under arrest! The mobsters quickly duck under the table and, in the melee, Peter gets shot a couple of times. Joe wheels over to Peter’s body. Joe: Peter! No! Cut to see that Peter is now thinking of working as a pilot with Quagmire. They are both sitting in the cockpit of a plane. Peter: (Getting up and heading towards the cockpit door.) Hey, Quagmire, I’m gonna go get a soda, did you want anything? Quagmire: No, I’m good Peter. We see as Peter opens the door and walks through he ends up in the exact same drug den. Peter: What the bleargh are you guys doin’ here? The same four mobsters duck under the table and Peter gets shot a couple times. Cut back to the living room. Peter: Or I could just go talk to Cleveland. He told me last week that he was looking for some extra help down at the deli. Lois: That sounds like a good idea, especially if Cleveland needs the help.
Peter: I think I’ll go down there and see him right now. (Peter leaves out the front door.) Brian: So, Lois, what were you doing while we were gone? Lois: Oh, just doing my exercises. But, you know, the more I do these exercises the easier they get. Its way too easy for me now, I barely break a sweat. Brian: Maybe you should buy a more advanced exercise tape. Lois: That’s what I was thinking. But now, if Peter is out of a job, I don’t want to be spending that extra money. Brian: Well, its kind of a crazy idea, but you could film your own advanced exercise video and try to sell it. Stay in shape and make some money at the same time. Lois: That’s a good idea Brian. I could be like that Richard Simmons guy... except without the afro hair... and the tight shorts... and the homosexual thing... and the annoying voice. Brian: You should have stopped with the homosexual thing. - FIRST COMMERCIAL -
Act IV: Exterior of Cleveland’s Deli. We then see the interior as Cleveland is behind the counter. There are no customers. Peter walks in the front door. Cleveland: Hey Peter, what brings you down here to the deli? Did you forget to buy Meg a birthday present again? Cut to a shot of the family sitting around the dinner table. Meg is opening a present from Peter. As she gets it unwrapped we see that it is a large sausage. Meg: Its meat... you got me meat for my birthday. Peter: Not just any meat Meg, that’s a sausage; the sausage is well known as the king of meats! Lois: Meg, your father’s present came straight from his heart. Now cheer-up and blow out the candles. We now see that in front of Meg there is a small pig on a platter – the pig has an apple in its mouth and 15 lit candles on its back. Meg takes one look at it and runs out of the room crying. Chris: (Pointing at the pig.) Hey Mom, can I have the nose part? Lois: No Chris, we’re not starting without your sister. Chris runs out of the room crying just like Meg did. Cut back to Cleveland’s Deli. Peter is at the counter with Cleveland. Peter: Actually Cleveland, I came down here to ask you about a job.
Cleveland: You want to work for me Peter? Peter: Well, I know that last week you were looking for a new employee. Cleveland: Why do you need a job? What happened to your career as a fisherman? Peter: It’s a long story, and David Copperfield is a jackass! Cleveland: Well Peter, I already filled that position that I had open. I hired a student from the Teenage Employment Center. Peter: How’s that working out? Cleveland: Not so well. He can’t stop laughing whenever someone asks if they can buy a wiener, or a sausage, or a meat log, or a banger. Peter: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Stop it, Cleveland, you’re killing me! Cleveland: And how would you manage it with me as your boss Peter? Don’t you think that we would be getting into a lot of arguments? Peter: Hey, I’ve been in my fair share of arguments and I know how to handle myself. Cut to a shot of the interior of Peter’s car. Peter is driving and Jesus is in the passenger seat. Peter: I told you Jesus, this is my car and I’ll do the driving.
Jesus: I just wanted to drive one time, but could you step aside? No! Peter’s gotta be the big man and drive. Peter: Quit it alright! I made up my mind, I’m driving, and that’s final! We now see out the front window that they are coming up on a police road check. Peter: Oh great, now there’s a road check. Jesus, make sure you’ve got your seatbelt done up. Jesus makes a slight motion with his hand and we see as the water in Peter’s water bottle turns to wine. Peter: Yeah... nice... real mature Jesus; the old water-into-wine gag. Now how am I supposed to explain that? Cut back to Cleveland’s Deli. Peter is at the counter with Cleveland. Cleveland: Well, I guess if you’d be okay with it, I could use another set of hands around here. Peter: Thanks Cleveland, you won’t regret hiring me. I mean, unless someone asks me if I have a wiener... ‘cause I’d just pee myself laughin’ right there. But other than that, I’m okay.
Act V: Exterior of the Griffin house. Next we see the back yard as Lois, dressed in an aerobics suit, is standing on a blue gym mat. Brian has a video camera on a tripod directed at Lois. Brian: Alright Lois, the camera is running. You can start whenever you’re ready. Lois: (Clears throat.) Ahem! Okay, here we go... Hello and thank you for purchasing my video “Get Fit with Lois.” This is a video for anyone who needs an advanced workout routine. Let’s get started. First we are just going to warm up a little bit with a couple of stretches. Now we see Lois doing her exercises through the lenses of binoculars. We then see that it is Quagmire watching Lois from a window in his house. Quagmire is in his housecoat. Quagmire: Oh God, I’ve got to find a camera. (We see him go into his house and we hear him rummaging through things.) Camera, camera, camera, camera... We see as Brian walks up to Quagmire’s window and looks inside. Brian: Its alright Quagmire, you can just buy a tape of this later when we have them for sale. Quagmire: (Heard from inside the house.) Heh, heh, alright! Cut back to Lois doing more stretches in front of the camera. Stewie comes out the backdoor and into the view of the video camera. Stewie: Excuse me Mother, I don’t mean to interrupt your prancing around the back yard like a loonie, but I seem to have left a gift for you in my diaper. Lois: (As she picks up Stewie.)
Oh honey, did you make a mess? Brian, could you come and turn off the camera? I have to go and change Stewie. Stewie: What the deuce? What is the camera for? Lois: Mommy is making a video for people who want to exercise. Stewie: You’re making a video for people to watch? Is that so? This could be my opportunity to influence the masses through film... Quickly woman, change me... I can’t very well go on camera with a saggy posterior now can I? Although that’s never stopped Cybil Shepherd, now has it?! Oh, I’m so wicked! I really must start writing these down!
Act VI: Exterior of Cleveland’s Deli. We next see the interior as Cleveland is behind the deli counter. Cleveland is demonstrating how to use the machine that slices the meat. Cleveland: So you put the meat in the machine like this... (Puts the meat on the machine.) Then you set how thick you want the slices to be, like this... (Turns a knob on the machine.) And then you start slicing... Peter... Peter, are you paying attention? Peter: (With two hotdogs in his nose, two out his ears and one in his mouth.) Mmm-hmm. (As he nods his head one of the wieners falls from his ear.) Cleveland: Its really simple Peter. (Starts slicing the meat.) Here, you give it a try. Peter: (Throwing away the hotdogs. Steps up to the machine and begins slicing the meat.) Wow, this is easy. This is easier than being a fisherman. And its way easier than that job I had at Starbucks. Cut to Peter is in a Starbucks uniform. He is behind the counter and he has a large lineup of people waiting. A male customer is ordering. Male Customer: Yeah, I’ll have a Grande Mocha Latté and a Tall Caramel-nut Macchiato to go... oh and throw in a Chocolate Biscotti. Peter: I’m sorry sir, you’re gonna have to speak English... We serve coffee, I don’t know what the bleargh you want. Male Customer: This is all stuff off of your menu... I want a Grande Mocha Latté and a... Peter: Coffee! We only have coffee, sir.
Male Customer: A Tall Caramel-nut... Peter: Next! Cut back to the Deli. Peter is still cutting meat. Peter: I’m gettin’ pretty good at this. Cleveland: Alright Peter, this job isn’t all about cutting meat. I want to teach you about the different variety of cheeses that we have. Peter stops cutting meat and then walks over to the cheese with Cleveland. Cleveland: We usually have fifteen kinds of cheeses. Peter: Fifteen kinds of cheese! I thought that there was only two kinds of cheese... white and yellow. Cleveland: No Peter, there are actually quite a few types of cheese. We just carry some of the most popular varieties. We have Mozzarella, Gouda, Camembert, Havarti, Parmesan, Swiss, Monterey, Blue, Brie, Feta, Gruyere, Edam, Roquefort, Limburger, and, of course, Cheddar. Peter: (After a few seconds.) Are you sure its not just white and yellow? I could swear I read it somewhere. - SECOND COMMERCIAL -
Act VII: Exterior of the Griffin house. Next we see the backyard as Lois is again in front of the camera. She is just finishing some type of exercise. Lois: And that’s the last of the exercises on this video. I thank you again for purchasing “Get Fit with Lois” and I hope that you have enjoyed it. (Lois hollers to inside the house.) Brian! Can you come turn off this camera? Brian! Lois goes inside leaving the camera on. We see from the video-camera’s perspective looking at the empty backyard. Suddenly the camera is pulled so that it now faces downwards and we see Stewie with his hypnosis glasses on. Stewie: Hello mindless minions. From this point forth I am your supreme ruler. You will obey my every command. You will assist me in taking over the world! But, of course, we must start with something small to prove your loyalty. My first command is that you must... Kill Lois! That’s right, you must kill the one who has taught you to exercise. Only when Lois is dead will you have proven your loyalty. (We hear that Lois and Brian are coming.) Now, I must go... (Stewie runs out of the view of the camera. He then comes back into view of the camera.) Oh yes, I almost forgot, the address is 31 Spooner Street. My God, that would have been embarrassing... (Waits a few seconds.) Kill Lois! (He runs off again.) Cut to the shot of the backyard as Lois and Brian come out. They walk over to the video camera and Brian shuts it off. Brian: So Lois, do you think that the video is ready for the public? Lois: I think that its a pretty good video Brian. Its way better than some of the other how-to videos I’ve seen. Cut to a kitchen set. Calista Flockhart is at the counter with an apron on. Behind her there is a sign that says “Cooking with Calista.” Calista Flockhart:
So, here we have the finished product... a lovely Spinach Lasagna with Bruschetta toast. Mmm... let’s have a taste. (She takes a bite of the Lasagna.) Ooh, that is just delicious. (She then sticks her finger down her throat and throws-up behind the counter.) Cut back to Lois and Brian in the backyard. Brian: If you need an objective set of eyes to look it over you could ask Quagmire. He already told me that he would like a copy. Lois: Really, Quagmire said that he wants to see it. Well, it would be good to have him tell me if there’s anything that needs to be changed. (Lois turns towards Quagmire’s house.) Hey Quagmire! Would you like to be the first one to look over my video? We now see that Quagmire is again standing at his window with binoculars. He is still in his robe. Quagmire: Sure Lois, I’ll watch your video... but since its your first time I’ll try to be gentle. Heh, heh, alright!
Act VIII: Exterior of Cleveland’s Deli. We see the interior as Peter is behind the counter. A tall male customer - John Cleese - is ordering. Cheese Shop Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance. Peter: No. Cheese Shop Customer: Lipta? Peter: No. Cheese Shop Customer: Lancashire? Peter: No. Cheese Shop Customer: White Stilton? Peter: No. Cheese Shop Customer: Danish Brew? Peter: No. Cheese Shop Customer: Double Goucester? Peter: No. Cheese Shop Customer:
Cheshire? Peter: No. Cheese Shop Customer: Dorset Bluveny? Peter: No. Cheese Shop Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson? Peter: No. Cheese Shop Customer: Camembert, perhaps? Peter: Ah! We have Camembert sir. Cheese Shop Customer: You do! Excellent! Peter: Yes sir. Ah, its a bit runny. Cheese Shop Customer: Oh, I like it runny. Cleveland comes into view behind the counter. Cleveland: I’m going to have to ask you to leave my establishment sir. Last time you had this discussion you ended up shooting one of my employees. The customer looks disappointed and leaves the deli.
Cleveland: So, Peter, how are you enjoying your first day? Peter: Its not bad Cleveland. I mean, this is pretty good compared to other first days I’ve had. Like my first day in elementary school. Cut to a young, though still heavy, Peter sitting in a desk in an elementary classroom. He is wearing his backpack. The desk suddenly collapses beneath him. Peter then pulls a ripcord on his backpack and a parachute pops out. Cut back to the deli. Peter: Or my first day in high school. Cut to an adolescent Peter sitting in a desk in a high school. He is wearing a backpack. The desk suddenly collapses beneath him. Peter then pulls a ripcord on his backpack and a parachute pops out. Peter: And I don’t even want to remember my first day flying that crop-duster. Cut to see Peter in the crop-duster above a wheat field. The plane suddenly collapses beneath him and he falls towards the field. Peter then pulls a ripcord but textbooks start flying from his backpack. A different customer, a female, enters the deli. Cleveland: You can handle this customer, right Peter? Peter: Oh yeah Cleveland, no problem. (Cleveland walks away.) Hello ma’am, do you need help finding anything? Female Customer: Yes actually, could you recommend a nice type of meat to go with red wine and cheese?
Peter: Well, we have... Suddenly, a puff of smoke is seen and David Copperfield is standing next to Peter. Peter: You cicada. Another puff of smoke is seen. When the smoke clears David Copperfield has taken Peter’s shirt and pants. We hear, but can’t see, the woman customer scream. The camera then moves to reveal that her shirt and pants have also been taken. She runs out of the deli, screaming. Cleveland comes back behind the counter. Cleveland: What’s going on out here Peter? Where did that customer go? Why was she screaming? (Pauses for a few seconds.) And why are you not wearing clothes? Peter: I swear Cleveland... it had nothin’ to do with her saying she wanted to see my meat. Cleveland: Then what happened? Peter: I’ll tell you what happened. David Copperfield! That’s what happened!
Act IX: Interior of Quagmire’s house. He is sitting, still in his robe with his arm around a blow-up doll sitting next to him, watching the exercise video. Quagmire: (Speaking to the doll.) That was a good video. I enjoyed it even more then when I went to see that Millionaire Show. Cut to the set of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” We see a man in the hot-seat across from Regis Philbin. The man looks like he is thinking quite hard about a question. Hot-Seat Man: Uh, Regis, this is a difficult question... Regis: Just remember that you still have all three of your life-lines. Hot-Seat Man: I think I’ll use one of them... I’d like to poll the audience. We see Quagmire stand up in the “Millionaire” audience. Quagmire: Did he just say “pole the audience?” You and me both buddy! Giggity, giggity, giggity! Cut back to Quagmire watching the video. We hear as Stewie comes on the TV. Stewie: (Heard from the TV.) Hello mindless minions. From this point forth I am your supreme ruler. You will obey my every command... We see that Quagmire is under Stewie’s hypnosis. - THIRD COMMERCIAL -
Act X: Exterior of Cleveland’s Deli. Cut to the interior of the deli. Peter is sweeping the floor. Cleveland is behind the counter. A rabbi walks in with a small baby. Cleveland: Hello sir. I assume you are looking for some kosher meats. Rabbi: Actually, I’m here because I saw the notice that you have posted on your door. Cleveland: I don’t remember putting a notice on the door. Rabbi: (Opens the door and we see a piece of paper.) Its just right here. It says, “Cleveland’s Deli. Catering to Jewish customs. Full-time Moyle on staff. Discount rates available.” (Closes the door.) So that’s why I have brought this child. Cleveland: Peter, did you know anything about this? Peter: Well sure Cleveland... I mean, you’ve got that handy meat slicing machine, and me, knowing a little bit about the Jewish people, saw how it could be put to good use. I just put two and two together. Actually, I’m surprised you hadn’t thought of it years ago. Cleveland: You can’t use the machine for that! Peter: Sure you can! I’m just a beginner with that machine and I’d be able to do it, easy. Rabbi: A meat slicing machine! Are you out of your mind?! That is disgusting! You people should be ashamed of yourselves for even thinking of such a thing... I’m never buying anything from this deli! (Leaves the deli.) Cleveland:
Peter, I don’t think that things are going very well with you working here. Its probably best if you find another job elsewhere. Peter: (Peter drops the broom.) Are you firing me? After one day on the job you’re firing me! How dare you! After all the years that we’ve known each other, and you just let me go! You would just jeopardize our friendship like that?! Well, I will just say good riddance to you. Peter leaves the deli. Seconds later he comes back in. Peter: (Calmly, like nothing happened.) So I’ll see ya at the bar at 9:00? Cleveland: Make it 9:30, Loretta wants me to watch the TV with her for a while tonight. Peter: (After a few more seconds.) Do you remember what I was mad about?! Cleveland: I think it was the part where I said you couldn’t work here anymore. Peter: Right, right... You cicada. (Leaves the deli.)
Act XI: Exterior of the Griffin house. Now we see closer as Lois is crouched down doing some gardening. We see that Quagmire is walking slowly up behind her with a knife held out in one hand and the video tape in the other hand. Ominous music plays. Lois doesn’t see him as he gets closer behind her. Suddenly, as he is crossing the Griffin’s driveway, Peter pulls in with the car and hits Quagmire. Quagmire is knocked to the ground. The knife flies out of Quagmire’s hand and into nearby bushes. The tape also gets knocked onto the pavement and it breaks. Peter: (Jumping out of the car.) Holy crap, Quagmire! Lois: Oh my God, are you alright? Quagmire: (Picking himself up off the ground. Obviously the hypnosis has been broken.) Yeah, I’m alright. But what... what am I doing over here? Lois: Well, you had the exercise tape in your hand, you must have been bringing it back to me. Peter: And Quagmire, I didn’t even see you standing there... you came out of nowhere. Maybe that awesome Copperfield guy has it in for you too. Lois picks up the video tape. It is broken and the Mylar tape is hanging out of the top. Lois: Oh no, the tape broke too. Well, maybe I’ll make a new one. What did you think of it Quagmire? Is it worth making it again. Quagmire: I... I can’t remember it. I... I know I watched it, but I can’t remember anything about it. Oh, God... (Runs back towards his house half-crying.) Lois:
Oh great, Quagmire saw it and he couldn’t even remember what it was about. Maybe it was no good in the first place... Why should I bother making another one?! Stewie, with Rupert in hand, appears in the shot and he stands near Lois. Lois: So Peter, how did things go with Cleveland? Peter: It was a whole lot different than fishing, I’ll tell you that. I had to deal with bad customers, I had to sweep the floors, and Cleveland insisted that I wear clothes. Anyways, he ended up firing me. But that’s okay, there are plenty of good opportunities out there for a nice guy like me. Just look at that Urkel kid from the TV. We see as Steve Urkel goes by on a bicycle and throws a paper on the Griffin’s lawn. We then see the old-pedophile walking down the sidewalk after him. Old-Pedophile: Can’t you just stop and talk to me for a minute... I just never seen pants that go up that high... I sure would like to take a look at those pants... do you like popsicles? Get back here you nerdy son-of-a-cool person! As the old-pedophile leaves the view of the camera we focus back on Lois, Peter and Stewie. Lois: I’m sure you’ll find something Peter. But I guess nothing is going to happen with my fitness tape now though. Stewie: What the devil?! You’re not publishing the tape?! Why the bleargh not?! Lois: Oh, I know honey, you wanted to see mommy on the TV... but look, its broken. Come on guys lets go inside. Stewie: awesome it! I thought this time she would be dead for sure. She keeps foiling my plans... (Stewie sees a sparkle in the
bushes where Quagmire’s knife ended up. Stewie moves towards it to take a look.) Hmm... I say, what might this be? Lois: (Heard from inside the house.) Stewie honey! Do you want some graham crackers?! Stewie: (Just before he reaches the bushes.) Ooh, graham crackers. Come Rupert! (Scampers off inside.) - THE END -

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