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The **** I Went Though well here it is

#1 {lang:macro__useroffline}   SlainThrax- {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 02:00 AM

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well now that i have some comments that have been made it made me feel like leting people into me life.

NOTE TO SMODS AND MODS: do not move this or close it i want it here and i will close it if i feel i need to.

well since about 4th grade i had been getting crap at school becauswe of something i did which i dont know what it was.. mainly at that point was constant people makeing fun of me calling me a loser and stuff like that this is why i turned to the computer in the first place.. to look for friends online outside of my school. then the harrasment progressed into people calling me gay and things like that. it pretty much stayed that way until 6th grade when i liked someone told her and got rejected this sent me into depression and things started getting worse.. i acted differently and lost many of the few friends that i had. the harrasment started getting worse and worse. then in 7th grade i liked someone else and i told her and she rejected me BUT she also told people i was stalking her which turned into more harrasment and harder harrasment. this pushed me close to the edge. this continued getting harsher and harsher as the months went by. then as 8th grade started the harrasment got harder and harder to deal with.

******from here on becomes very harsh and may cause some mixed feelings only continue reading if you wish to******

then about a month into 8th grade i talked to the girl that i liked in 7th grade.. and told her i still liked her and she started spreading more rumors that i was stalking her and numerously going to the police about it when i wasnt doing a damn thing. then she started a rumor that i was going to bring a GUN into school. this then pushed me over the edge and i started dreassing differently.

user posted image

then one day.. i came into school like i always did and durring first period the cops stormed my classrom and arrested me. they told me that they got a tip that someone saw me with a gun walking into school(this was completely false i dont even have a gun). this just pushed me to the point where i started cutting myself and eventualy wound up trying to kill myself(i hung myself by the neckfrom a tree one night.) then i got suspended after a number of things so basicly it smowballed from there... but then i literaly beat someone to the ground cause he called me a stalker (broke his nose gave him a bad black eye) then people started to leave me alone and things got better but then they got worse again as things heated up again and now after im in highschool for over a month in a different highschool than them they still spread rumors about me.

all the while i was getting **** from bigbro killer a muler on seed among other people..

soo... whats why i am who i am today.

"See, I think drugs have done some *good* things for us, I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a Favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cd’s and burn em’. 'Cause you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years...
Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal {expletive ninja'd by Cspace} high on drugs."
-- Bill Hicks

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."
-- Bill Hicks

"It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. Keep that in mind at all times."
-- Bill Hicks


http://ctprofiles.net/2122894
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#2 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Res {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 02:17 AM

NO cutting for you man!

Well.. I can understand all of it.. i know some people that act like the guys that you talk about..

People will be people.. but you seem to be doing better than alot of other people i know that go through that kind of stuff... Keep smilin'.

KM
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be "The One".
Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see.
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#3 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Killerconvic {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:05 AM

QUOTE(SilverSpy3 @ Oct 17 2004, 10:00 PM)
all the while i was getting **** from bigbro killer a muler on seed among other people..
{lang:macro__view_post}



And yet, you think that we all did this out of the blue. Whatever_anim.gif Maybe if you didn't try to annoy people, people would treat you differently.
Sam's gay
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#4 {lang:macro__useroffline}   SlainThrax- {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:08 AM

... ok lol i only try to anyoy people who are like you... arrogent and highstrung thats why i try to anyoy you
"See, I think drugs have done some *good* things for us, I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a Favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cd’s and burn em’. 'Cause you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years...
Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal {expletive ninja'd by Cspace} high on drugs."
-- Bill Hicks

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."
-- Bill Hicks

"It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. Keep that in mind at all times."
-- Bill Hicks


http://ctprofiles.net/2122894
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#5 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ruckus Fox {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:11 AM

SS3, listen man, I know atleast half that you've been through (excluding the storming of the classroom and arrested...well...I've come close to being arrested icon_sweatdrop.gif But I've got light feet and a quick mind.) That first rejection for guys really hurts I think. When I was rejected for the first time, I fell into a depression and thought of jumping off our train bridge (which many have done...) then I realised I was too much of a pussy to actually do anything to myself. The most harm I've ever done to myself was plummeted myself down the stairs when I was little (and then I thought it was FUN!) In spite of all this, I'm actually glad you decided to express your feelings and emotions, I'll say it really really helps. As for girls that spred rumors...They aren't worth it; just this friday we had some ADHD (no offense to anyone) Girl that obviously didn't take her medicine and was running after our group, harassing the guy who had dumped her. Well, she kept going on and on about how her parents knew cops and that she supposedly had a "Force" Of cops on her team. We finally reasoned with her, but not all of them are like that.

I'll say one piece of advice that I find both true, yet terribly terribly mistaken: "Love is a weakness, a curse, and a pestillence, you don't need love to continue going through life, all you need is--Strength, power, glory, and money."

I must say that Love can be a weakness at times (many times for me...) But it IS needed if you want to have a good life.

SS3...Take care of yourself, and I mean this, I don't want to see you end up like some trash on the side of the road, you're better than that man. Despite I haven't had the chance to get to know you, I can see right through you, and know what?--You're a good guy. headbang.gif

---Ruckus the Rogue

Darkstorm Characters: Scaffard Crimsonflame , Zikora Yooki
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#6 {lang:macro__useroffline}   ErusAngelus {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:16 AM

You need therapy dude...it does good...I got a therapist and psycologist now...going to new school....noone called me stalker cause I do have a gun and they dont know me....your life will get better like mine is slowly just hang in there get those 2 docs talk to them and tell them what you need they will help you greatly it will get some stress off you too though you might miss a few days of school...dont be depressed especially over Females....Gah evil....dont know if they human....Get better man and you shoulda kicked his *** a bit more...oh and went to the cops about that girl that went to the cops
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#7 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Killerconvic {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:16 AM

QUOTE(SilverSpy3 @ Oct 18 2004, 12:08 AM)
... ok lol i only try to anyoy people who are like you... arrogent and highstrung thats why i try to anyoy you
{lang:macro__view_post}



Arrogant, yes. High-strung, no. Not sure how you got that one eek7.gif Maybe you meant another word? eek7.gif

But anyway.. Don't bother including the fact that people like me led you to attempting suicide, since you tried to annoy people like me. If you annoy someone, what do you expect they'll do? Be nice?

alien2.gif
Sam's gay
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#8 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ruckus Fox {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:21 AM

Um....Erus...please don't ever say that again....I despise Racism and Sexism e.x *twitch* nonono2.gif

---Ruckus the Rogue

Darkstorm Characters: Scaffard Crimsonflame , Zikora Yooki
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#9 {lang:macro__useroffline}   ErusAngelus {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:23 AM

I didnt say anythign Sexist I know that from experience especially if your in 2 calsses of pure girls and your the only guy in there alot of things are heard and things you dont want to know at that...*shudders*
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#10 {lang:macro__useroffline}   SlainThrax- {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:24 AM

thanks everyone...
"See, I think drugs have done some *good* things for us, I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a Favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your cd’s and burn em’. 'Cause you know what? The musicians who’ve made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years...
Rrrrrrrrrrrrreal {expletive ninja'd by Cspace} high on drugs."
-- Bill Hicks

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."
-- Bill Hicks

"It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. Keep that in mind at all times."
-- Bill Hicks


http://ctprofiles.net/2122894
0

#11 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ruckus Fox {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:29 AM

QUOTE
dont be depressed especially over Females....Gah evil....dont know if they human.


Admit it...that sounded pretty sexist to me...Despite that they may talk differently, act differently, have different thoughts, ideals, pleasures, pains, everything...They ARE human...As far as my knowledge, everyone is human here.... (except me ^-^)

---Ruckus the Rogue


edit: And no problem SS3, I'm here for ya budday.

This post has been edited by Ruckus Fox: 18 October 2004 - 04:29 AM


Darkstorm Characters: Scaffard Crimsonflame , Zikora Yooki
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#12 {lang:macro__useroffline}   ErusAngelus {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:31 AM

Well its true have you sat there and seen how long they can talk its like a bubler of words....They can sit and talk about a ounce of perfume for like 5 hours its horrible....I should sit in one of their convos...but im scared it might turn towards rappers I dont need to see a naked rapper in my mind....*shudders*And ruckus To anyones knowledge here your arnt human biglaugh.gif no offence ment
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#13 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Jarik C-Bol {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 04:47 AM

Man. you have no idea how much i understand what you're talking about. (i'm not in the shareing mood, lets just say i've been through the same thing.) The best thing you can do is talk about it with people. friends, family, anyone you can trust. can help so many things. I know what its like to think about ending it. but no mater what, there's always a reason to go on. keep on man, it can always get better.

hem.

about that sexist thing.
anybody remember how you acted towards the oposite sex at a young age (8 - 13ish)? us guys were all "girls? eewwww" and vice-versa. rember, some of us here are still kids.
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#14 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ferret Overlord {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 05:02 AM

QUOTE(Ruckus Fox @ Oct 18 2004, 12:29 AM)
QUOTE
dont be depressed especially over Females....Gah evil....dont know if they human.


Admit it...that sounded pretty sexist to me...Despite that they may talk differently, act differently, have different thoughts, ideals, pleasures, pains, everything...They ARE human...
{lang:macro__view_post}



I dunno... like his idea better icon_sweatdrop.gif

Most girls, as I have learned, are stuck up snobs from the age of 10 to 26. That's why I avoid every possible hint of feelings about a girl ('cept utter disgust).

Snobs... Stupid seventh graders.

SS you should see a counselor. And try and talk to the girl. Just remember, if she makes physical contact, she's in the wrong (She'll get suspended).
Or one day you could set fire to her house... but that's illegal...

Also, don't wear camo when someone's spreading rumors about you bringing in a gun. It's common sense man.
HI! I'M BACK SPORADICALLY! Nobody probably remembers me :(
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#15 {lang:macro__useroffline}   ©allum {lang:icon}

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Posted 18 October 2004 - 05:11 AM

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Uh oh, looks like I'm sexist! I really didn't know that something I was obviously meaning as a joke/not to be taken seriously was taken seriously by a "Rogue"/"Clan Pet".
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