[Ferret Overlord]

Jewish Humor
1. The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like
Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that
Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

2. There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In
Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from
medical school.

3. Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their
suffering.

4. Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie? A:
It's called "Debbie Does Dishes."

5. Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers? A: They never let
anyone finish a sentence.

6. Q: What's a Jewish American Princess's favorite position? A: Facing
Bloomingdale's.

7. When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came
back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."

8. A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good, "
said the mother. "I've been very weak." The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The son said, "That's
terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answered, "Because I
didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

9. A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in
the play. She asks, "What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the
Jewish husband." The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher
you want a speaking part."

10. Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife? A: Under the
vacuum cleaner.

11. Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A:
(Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to
anybody."

12. Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won,
let's eat.

13. Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the
street and said, "Lady I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she
replied.

14. Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? A:
Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

AND FINALLY...

15. Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow












This isn't Jewish, but meh.


Subject: Thank God for Children Saying Grace...
>
> Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son
> asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is
> good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you
> more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for
> all! Amen!"
> Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard
> a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today
> don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
> Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it
> wrong? Is God mad at me?"
> As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and
> God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the
> table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God
> thought that was a great prayer."
> "Really?" my son asked.
>
>
> "Cross my heart," the man replied. Then in a theatrical whisper
> he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole
> thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream
> is good for the soul sometimes."
> Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My
> son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember
> the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and without a word,
> walked over and placed it in front of the woman.
> With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream
> is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already."
>
> The End.


That lady got served!


Ice cream. In a bowl.

[Hax the Cook]

nice......

[Snowy]

i still dont get why it says i own j00

WHAT FRIGGIN JEW ARE THEY OWNING?!

[Ferret Overlord]

Wha... Go away.