[susanhollister]

Over a cup of coffee, my beloved mom started discussing about effective parenting. She said that in order for a child to become a responsible, obedient, and disciplined adult, it may be necessary to not spare him with the rod. As for me, I don't want to do that to my Christian. I believe that kids nowadays can become more open to discussion. They can easily absorb your point, if you can just keep the communication lines open. To stress my point, I've even talked to my mom the pointers I got from my readings. But then, it also occured to me the question: Is there really a need to change parenting strategies?

[Neraphym]

Beat your kids.

[Xemem]

Of fear there are two kinds. Un irrational terror of something. and a healthy respect for the power of something. a sence of both is what a child needs to stay safe in the real world. would you want them to learn from you, or the first bad tempered person in the real world that they mouth off to, that there can be very physical consiquences for not so physical actions and deeds.

Children do not have fully developed mental capabilities. They go with what they feel more then with what they think. I f you talk to your kid. what was said can be easily over ridden by a whim. playing off all their sences rather then just their sence of hearing makes the message alot more clear.

I am not saying beat them to within an inch of their life, or with out cuase... basicaly don't do it as punishment, do it as discipline. and explain to them before why they are recieving it, and after what they should do different next time.

I did some thing wrong when I was a kid...but I never did the same thing wrong twice. I was spanked at least once a week by my dad, and had strait A's and nothing on my record... I wanted to see the north so i went with my mom for a few years, she did not spank...I had a felony conviction and was a drop out, and a pot head before I came back a short time later.

My childhood friend was spanked every time he did any thing wrong, last I had heard from him he was in a real college (not a community one) and had a well paying job, with prospects for a family.

[Elvenblader]

If you have to discipline your kids and do what's necessary to keep them in line then do it. I dont condone abuse or outright just beating the crap out of them. Not always will spankings work. One thing I learned when growing up was my old daycare provider could think up of cruel and unusual punishment. That lady was freaking scary. Just one look from her and your scared out of your wits. A lot of the time she would make you write say about 5,000 times. Not only that among other things just the tone in her voice was enough to set a kid straight. She never actually hit any kids but she believed in the "Yes Mam" "No Mam" thing. Also believed in teaching politeness, manners, and respect. Just thinking about back then creeps me out a little.

[Spikeout]

Cool site!

[Xemem]

I like what elven blader said ( if I am getting it right lol)...getting a switch once in a while though... that might be better. they are less likely to do bad for fear of a wooping then fear of groundation and a stern talking to.

Heres how you do this(a few tricks and tips):

- Before you start spanking...dig the hole.

oh and get on of those wood cutting boards with the handles on them. the handle and slate should be one solid wood piece, and the slate part should be longer then it is wide. Drill some holes in it and make a place for it on the wall...and wright something on it...something freaky like "JUSTIC AND DISCIPLINE" or the bible verse that talks about not sparing the rod hehe.

wait to put it up also. Hold of till the kid does something really bad. Be angry like all that day and the next while he/she is at school hang it up in the living room. they will prolly' see it when they get back, before they see you. and when they se you , you should be calm and quite and stare at the paddle every once in a while like you can't wait to use it...the kid will walk on egg shells for a week for certain. Play it right and you wont even have to use it at first.


- Keep your parent hand strong.

Once a week or so when the kid comes in the door, cross your arms and stare at em' like you just got a phone call from another parent or a teacher or something. they will be like "what?!" with you. then you get a real serious look on your face. Say something like "so I got a phone call today"(don't say you got it from any specific place). then go on with " is there any thing you want to tell me?"

If the kid doesn't call your bluff he/she will start telling on them self by mistake, in an effort to make excuses for things you did not even know they did. and never let on that you did not know this stuff before they told you. being absolutly taken back by what they have been up to with your back turned, will help you keep a strait face through this trick.

- Rememeber these things.

The parents bill of rights (yes it exists, mostly in policy if dealing with cps) over rides the childrens bill of rights if you use it the correct way. so dont let them pull that "I want to be adopted out" junk with you, or " my freind says I can call cps on you if you don't do what I want". In many places the only thing you are required to give them is 2 square meals a day, a bed that is off of the ground, clothing in good condition(does not have to be good fashion hehe), a way to obtain an education, one room to every two children (unless they are different genders and then two rooms are required) with a door, windows and ventalation, and a roof over their heads (that provides gas, and in some cases electricity as well). Just about every thing else is your option not their right.

It is not a democracy when it comes to your house, it's a dictatorship There is a lot less privacy for them then they think...go through their pockets and dwares and folders. Call their principal at the weeks end each week to see if they got in trouble and are not telling you ect. ect....basicaly spy on your kid.

If they ever say that they want to run away jump on it like you have been waiting for them to say it since they could talk. pack their bags put the case in their hand and shove em' out the door( oh just nod and walk off if its daytime and save this for that evening, like its coming out of no where... this works better at nite). don't lock it just take what they want to do and make it into what you are forcing them to do by their own words. they will rebell like always and want to come back in. or they will be stupified and forget their "great plan" for getting along on their own. also remember not to put them out their with money or immediate rescources. when they want to come back be hesitant... set terms. make it your graces to allow them back if they shape up.

When you want them to do something give them an ultimatium. the thing you want them to do or something that sounds worse to them. If they figiure it out and pick the worse thing out of rebellion and spite, after they finnish give them another choice of the thing from before or another worse thing... they will figiure out that the only way to avoid doing what you actualy want them to is to do stuff thats worse and alot of it.

And if your kid is pulling something and your not sure, email me i'll tell you how to straiten the lil' brat out lol.

[Goto]

Ouch... Promise me you won't have kids, Xemem.

A moderate approach is probably best. It's not necessary to resort to physical punishment (such as spanking), but relying on discussion by itself may lack enough impact. Talking things through is a great idea, just be sure you can stand firm if that doesn't work.

[Zziggywolf5]

Personally, I think rewarding good behavior is better than punishment for bad. Should a kid be punished for doing something bad? Yes, but if you don't act like you care when they acted good... it's counter-productive.

Take me for example, I was worse as a little child. My day-care person and early teachers would intentionly belittle me and insult me in front of everyone so I'd be embarrassed. So I decided to be more of an {expletive antidisestablishmentarianized by Cspace}. Why? They wanted to make me miserable, so I returned the favor. Then I got whipped at home for shouting at the screaming teacher.
I matured, of course, but having a teacher congratulate me on getting a 100 instead of accusing and screaming at me for 'cheating' helped quite a lot. My parents started to compliment me too. Now I'm an honor student and all that great stuff. Obviously something worked.

Every child's different though, so you have to find out how to control behavior yourself. But you know, when you corner an animal, it tends to come out to fight back...

[Jake]

Find which switch on your circut breaker kills the power to your kids room. Then after beatings or whatever and you send him to his room he won't have as much to play with.


also...

wait to put it up also. Hold of till the kid does something really bad. Be angry like all that day and the next

My mom does that over the tiniest things. no joke. I miss some dirt after vaccuming (that she tracked in after i finished ) and she flips out. Also If i vaccum and something isn't completely out of place she yells at me for not vaccuming under it... or if it's out of place she flips out because I didn't move it back. (BTW I love vaccuming :love:)

My point, Dont act like a borderline bipolar psychotic bitch and you will be respected.
If your kid has to deal with you trying to start at least 1 fight/arguement every day for a few years they'll get tired of you fast. Trust me, I know this from experience. Except Im not the idoit that's going to do anything stupid out of spite that's going to screw me over.


Edit: I didn't want to say it ,but you guys know you just got advertised on?

[Re@dy_2_Ki!l]

Anyone I've ever known who has been brought up with discipline (in terms of spanks) has turned out better than people who haven't had the discipline. Children need guidance, and after a warning from doing something wrong, discplinary measures need to be undertaken if it happens again. The reason why a lot of kids these days are feral is because people are getting slack in raising them, all of sudden people shouldn't spank their children, - because it's not right.
It's not bashing the lights out of the children, but more of teaching them a lesson, kids respond to that, and actually will respond better and tend to love the parents more, some people can't understand this concept though!

Encouragement and Discipline in right amounts are fine, parenting doesn't need to change, but get more informed, but if it continues on this slack downhill trend, then kids are going to be feral and no one is going to want to have them. But kids are good anyway, and although times are changing, why change any good methods, especially compared to some of the brats around today.

I mean have you guys seen "Super Nanny", that program would of never been around 20 years ago, times change, kids dont get worse, parents teaching does.

[©allum]

I'd have to agree that beatings and emotional torture are the best way to deal with children. That'll teach 'em.