[Cspace]

... And now for something completely different.

With our peanut butter debate apparently being the most thorough debate on the subject in the world, according to Google, it's time to find something new to exploit. What better object to scrutinize than a paper clip, being only slightly less important than peanut butter itself?

Being second doesn't mean the paper clip isn't important... And it is perhaps even more controversial than the world-dissolving substance of peanut butter. It is said that with duct tape and some paper clips, anything can be fixed or destroyed. Should paper clips be allowed within the reach of children, or for that matter are they too dangerous to be used altogether? But then on the other hand, they can bind the universe together when duct tape fails. The psychological impact of this reliance on a small bent wire has led people to lose their free will, and it has been argued that this simplicity leads to many very complicated brain disorders and chronic laziness.

This also fuels one's desire to waste time watching reality TV, which is also directly related to peanut butter as we saw... And we had pretty much concluded that peanut butter leads to the demise of society as we know it.

But with great power comes great responsibility, and this is where you come in...


You will decide whether or not paper clips are really worth the risk.

DON'T say anything that's true. Lie your head off, but try to sound believable.

[©allum]

One word: MacGyver.

[Aaron]

One word: MacGyver.

Beware of the mullet. Paper clips have been known to pick any lock on Earth if you use them right...

[baxter_94]

If the paper clip doesn't work to pick the lock you can use it as a plaything while you wait for the locksmith to come

[x..]

I once opened a shed door with a nail.

[baxter_94]

you can unlock our bathroom door with a butterknife

[Aaron]

you can unlock our bathroom door with a butterknife

Or a paper clip .

[baxter_94]

you very well could, just proving the power of a paper clip

[Neraphym]

I can do a trick with a $5 bill and 2 paperclips... it's awesome. I bet there is a video of it on Youtube somewhere.

[Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin]

I know someone who was stabbed in the arm with a paperclip.

The man who stabbed him got off the hook, but the paperclip got a life sentence.

[x..]

That's awesome.

[Atilla]

I have a paperclip for a hand. I couldn't afford a fisherman's hook.

[Nazē.]

You know, I'm glad you brought this up, Cspace, paper clips have haunted me as far as I can remember, going as far back to the years where I used to line up paper clips all around the room, and watch them for hours. You know something I noticed? They never moved! To me, this is the sole factor that makes paper clips among the most dangerous and cunning creations of man, including the spirals of notebooks, which have been said to attack young children while they sleep.

Back to what I was saying, the very fact that they refuse to move, says much more than the boxes they come in. I have long held the theory that they reassemble themselves once they are safely packed and being shipped. It is in these crucial minutes that we must capture them, without their knowing, and show that to the world! The world as we know it is in dire need of an escape, and it has, sadly, turned to paper clips for the answer. This may or not be all part of a grand scheme of the paper clips, but either way, this has got to be stopped, and I can hardly believe steps have not yet been taken to ensure their imminent doom. I have reason to believe, also, that ancient tribes of South Africa have carved warnings of such things on rocks. Anyone who wishes to contradict may feel free to visit said rocks themselves, and take with them a pair of protective goggles.

[Charlie]

How do paperclips have children? That is the question!

[Zziggywolf5]

You know, I'm glad you brought this up, Cspace, paper clips have haunted me as far as I can remember, going as far back to the years where I used to line up paper clips all around the room, and watch them for hours. You know something I noticed? They never moved! To me, this is the sole factor that makes paper clips among the most dangerous and cunning creations of man, including the spirals of notebooks, which have been said to attack young children while they sleep.

Back to what I was saying, the very fact that they refuse to move, says much more than the boxes they come in. I have long held the theory that they reassemble themselves once they are safely packed and being shipped. It is in these crucial minutes that we must capture them, without their knowing, and show that to the world! The world as we know it is in dire need of an escape, and it has, sadly, turned to paper clips for the answer. This may or not be all part of a grand scheme of the paper clips, but either way, this has got to be stopped, and I can hardly believe steps have not yet been taken to ensure their imminent doom. I have reason to believe, also, that ancient tribes of South Africa have carved warnings of such things on rocks. Anyone who wishes to contradict may feel free to visit said rocks themselves, and take with them a pair of protective goggles.

Holy crap, it's true!