Bespetna, I'll level with you here. We live in an age where everyone wants to lose weight because they just can't say no to a number 9 on the extra value menu, or the allure of leveling their elf swordmaster while chowing down on pizza is just too much to overcome. Well I'm here to tell you the fast, easy and scientifically proven way to lose weight and keep it off.
Its called
SMOKINGMany studies have discovered that smoking cigarettes assists in weightloss, like
this study. Cigarettes can save you from heart disease, heart attacks, strokes and looking like a {expletive ninja'd by Cspace}ing nerd. Some people say that cigarettes cause these problems to, but these people are lairs and faggots. Don;t trust them, they just want you to be a fat hippy nerd just like them.
Just think about this, in World War 2 there weren't any fat soldiers, just lean, mean rugged badasses who killed every Nazi and dirty treacherous Tojo they came in to contact with. The destroyed tanks with socks filled with gunpowder and soaked in gasoline, and how did they light those bombs? That's right, with the cherry of their delicious and manly Lucky Strikes.
You see, cigarettes saved the world time and time again, and now we treat them like dejected fat lesbian daughters visiting on Christmas with their hippy cultural studies major "roommate". But cigarettes never made us feel like we failed as parents, no sir, they made us manly killing machines who served only freedom and liberty.
Why do we treat these small tubes filled with champion making tobacco as dangerous these days, you ask? I'll tell you, because we're letting sissy boys tell us what to do. They call themselves doctors, they say they wear lab coats, but we all know what they really are, glorified house dresses. Below I have a picture of a real American who doesn't let some nancy-boy prick who took 9 years to get through college tell him what to do.

That's right, this leader of men knows whats up.
So in conclusion, smoking makes you lose weight, keep weight off, look cool and get laid. So get smoking losers, I suggest starting today after a trip to the local Seven-Eleven for the proper supplies.
Post in this thread to thank me for my expert advice and my willingness to overcome the bullying of so-called 'health enthusiasts' to share this effective technique with you.
PRO TIPS FROM PRO POSTERS Smoking is also a cardiovascular workout in that it requires you to breathe more which means more work for the diaphragm which means more calories burned with each breath.
Infact smoking is such a good workout, in that continuously raising a cigarette to your lips with the same hand everyday can eventually lead to muscle imbalance and so called smokers walk, where the body leans to one side, due to the increased muscle mass in the smoking arm.
To avoid this and get a well balanced workout, all pro-smokers smoke with a cigarette in both their left and right hand. This makes sure both arms gain the same amount of muscle, and also gives the lungs double the workout.
post pro ass tips for smoking and I'll post them here