[Dark Alex666]

Not bad. I think it sounds a little like 'The wheel of time', though. Who is the writter and whats the full name of the book?

[alkore]

You really think so????? Just a little or exactly?

im the writer and im deciding between Stone of Arynth or Door of Twilight. Maybe stone of Arytnth now that I thikn about it. I knew Tom in the book would make it to close. UGH.

[Dark Alex666]

Yes... A little. You write this? You gotta publish it. I write a book, but half is english and the other half is norwegian. I'm translating it to english. But this is not about my book or anything. Great story. Is it finished or are you working on it?

[alkore]

Working on it, Ive got 238 pages in real life right now lol. This is jsut to get it typed up. A bit of motivation. Always love feedback. What made it clsoe to Eye of the world, so I know what to change?

[alkore]

After a few moments of walking briskly towards the barn, they arrived. (???) Tom sat against the wall, smoking from his pipe. When he saw the three he smiled, then seeing the new member of the group he stood.

“Names’ Tom Hillsinger. Story teller of Erowand.” Tom bowed then shook the mans sweaty hand. With a nervous glance he looked at Jeff, Josh and Cody.

“Your secrets safe with us you fool. Say something!” Jeff thought to himself. As if sensing what Jeff had said somehow, Tabor introduced himself.

“Tabor Slickhands, Umm…er… No real occupation sir, just a type of merchant is you will. I’ve heard of you before today, sir. Been to a couple of your stories in Astai, my home town.” Tom shook his head.

“Your accent sounds deeper than Astai. Well, I’m always pleased to meet a fellow story lover.” The smile that spread across Toms’ face split his face in two almost. Jeff was happy to see Tom in such a good mode. Jeff would tell Cody and Josh to keep Tabors’ thievery to themselves. No need to embarrass him in front of Tom.

Tok Damntracker smiled a vicious grin. Dzem returned it, blood dripping off of his teeth. They didn’t need to cook the rabbit, it suited them just fine raw. Two more days and they would be at Hisdamail. Ryn’sames’ child or children would all be dead on the third day and they would be home the sixth. Tok had planned everything out as well as a goblin could. On their way to Hisdamail they had to make one stop. They wouldn’t be able to kill the boy or boys by themselves. No, they would hire three trolls to help. Then, as Master Gloved Hand had commanded, they would kill the beasts. Only those that would not rebel could be left on Erowand. The elves, Dwarves, and especially humans would be whipped off of Erowand. Then others that wouldn’t conform.

This post has been edited by alkore: 15 October 2004 - 02:53 AM

[JGJTan]

Wow, thats great! Way to go Alky

Keep it up

[alkore]

Thanks. Lol for a while there I thought I was the only one who stuck ham in the toaster

[alkore]

A bit strange, this segment. Up all night trying to fix it up.



“It couldn’t hurt if wes stop by Tavern for beer would its?” Tok asked, his mouth feeling dry. Water had never appealed to him or Dzem, but when it came to beer, they could drink kegs of it.

“Ohh. Yes, good idea Tok! We are bounds to finds a tavern around here somewhere without wretched guards.” They never paid for anything they got, of course. If they didn’t just get what they wanted, they would resort to killing for it. Dzem with his bronze sword and Tok with a bow and a full quiver of arrows made by himself. But if there were guards involved, they traveled elsewhere in search of food or, as it normally was, beer.

“The first Tavern we reach, Tok, we will head in.” Dzem looked up at the pale stars and the even paler moon. Master Gloved Hand had said the moon would be gone as soon as the heir of Ryn’same was dead. The cycling Age of Darkness would be born again and some God would come into play. The name was not known yet to Dzem or Tok, but Gloved Hand whispered the name to himself and no other.

“A day of traveling and we will be in Hisdamail, Tok. While there we will pick ourselves some beer, and kill the child.” Dzem turned and Tok’s’ mouth hung open. Dzem followed his gaze to see, to his great horror, Gloved hand in the reflection of the water.

“You two haven’t made it yet!” The voice was watery and Gloved Hand was not happy.

“Twelve years! And now that we know where they are, it shouldn’t take you any time to get to them!” Dzem and Tok whimpered to each other. Not many things could scare a goblin, but Gloved Hand did, and quiet well.

“I should have went myself! At least then I wouldn’t have to worry about you two,” He pointed a gloved finger at them, “Not killing HIM! But no, I thought to myself, They can handle this. Two trusted and strong goblins could handle killing the son of Ryn’same.” He paced in the lakes reflection, his vision sometimes wavering as the lake did.

“We shall find the boy s-soon. You must-“

“I MUST WHAT TOK!” Fire exploded from the lake and caught Toks’ robe. He cried out in surprise and fell over on a rock. The fire extinguished itself with Gloved Hands’ flick of a wrist.

“Do not make me regret sending the two of you out here. If you fail, I will kill you myself. And there are so many ways to kill someone over the period of a hundred years.” Gloved Hand hissed.

“Yes Master.” Dzem and Tok said in unison. Satisfied, Gloved Hand disappeared from the Lake.

"Let s g-get to moving Tok before he comes back.” Dzem stole a glimpse at the lake one more time before jumping in the trees and swinging on their way to Hisdamail.

[alkore]

Tom went on telling stories that Josh, Cody, and Jeff had all heard many times before, and, Josh guessed, Tabor had too. He asked for specific stories and sat in front of Tom looking like a puppy eyeing a cookie that he just cant reach. Josh, on the other hand, was more interested in Era of New Beginnings.

The First Era of the dragons was short lived. It lasted several thousands of years before the great War of the Dragons took place, shortly after Baldure had been defeated. The human races fought for their lives, while others, like goblins and orcs, staid behind the sidelines.

The great king of the dragons, Drake, had decided finally that humans were not good. They had only evil desires. Only the legendary Thain Davern had gained trust in the eyes of dragons. Even his Tamers did not gain trust from the race. Finally, after fourteen years of war, the dragons called peace and hid themselves far away.” Josh folded the page that he was on down and stood up to stretch. Tom was telling a story about High Elves. Something about how they were the strongest and smartest of the elven race. Josh looked up for only a moment, then resumed reading.

“The elves then led the War of a Thousand after the dragons disappearance. The elves fought the dwarves after the king of the dwarves of the time, Dorisu, stole a precious rare stone from the elves, the stone of Winduso. The stone was believed to have been a gift from the elven God Windu. After stealing it, then selling it, Dorisu had returned to his kingdom under the ground. The elves stormed onto the dwarves mines and slaughtered the entire kingdom. The war the was born from this lasted for three years until the stone was found and recovered.” Josh looked outside the only window to see what time it was. With a gasp he realized the moon was out and the stars shinned bright. A bird floated over the moon for a moment, its figure difficult to see from where Josh was. The bird was very, very big. Probably the biggest he had seen. It floated off into the stars.

Josh cupped a yawn and looked over at Tom and Tabor, Cody, and Jeff. They were all sound asleep, Tom laid back in his rocking chair with Tabor at his feet and Jeff and Cody curled up in separate corners. Josh seemed to be the only one still up, so he stood and tiptoed over to the candle. After he blew it out, laughter came from the outside, two very drunk goblins moved in the trees after raiding the Green Dragon Tavern.

[alkore]

I thought I might explain something real quick:


The goblins have really long arms that hang below their hips. They are short, five foot im gonna say. Almost monkey like. Reason why they can swin through trees. Second thing was that I am trying not to be resembles to Eye of the World, but Tom had to come in. It ties the story together later on.


Ok with that out of the way, im happy.

[alkore]

That morning Jeff woke up and found to his surprise, Tabor sitting on the far wall asleep. Jeff had thought the thief would have ran off with all of their money and everything that wasn’t nailed to the ground. But he just sat against the wall sound asleep.

Jeff stood and looked out the window to a pale sun. The stars of Erowand were disappearing and he could already hear the birds that came with the sun. A robin came close to the window and landed on the pane. Jeff watched it for a moment before turning around. Tom was asleep still, but Cody seemed to be rousing from a deep sleep. With a start, Cody jumped up, remembering where he was he grinned at Jeff. Josh was curled up in his corner, Era of New Beginnings tucked under an arm. The book was originally bought for Cody, but he hadn’t even looked at it since buying it.

Jeff moved towards the door of the barn, and whispered to those that were awake, “I’m going for breakfast. Don’t wake Tom until I get back.” Cody and Josh nodded their heads to show they understood and Jeff went out.

It was cold this morning, colder than it had been for a long time. The dew on the grass was icy and more than once Jeff wished he could afford new shoes with thicker soles. He moved towards the Green Dragon Inn, and stopped in mid step. A crowd of people stood by the inn, and Jeff could see why. The door was broken off its hinges and the windows were all busted. Inside was even worst. Tables lay smashed and tables with missing legs were strode everywhere. Shattered glass laid almost everywhere from broken glasses. The bar portion was drenched in beer. Someone had managed to get in the Tavern and destroy it entirely.

“Drunk hooligans.” One old man said. Jeff agreed. Things like this never happened. Now every now and then someone would break in, but never destroy the inn. This was outrageous!

“Are they still selling breakfast?” Jeff asked. The answer came behind him.

“No. The Inn will be closed until the fools who did this are caught.” A tall man walked towards them. A sword at his side and a quiver of arrows on his back marked him as a guard no doubt.
The man had black hair that went down to his ears and a short beard to match. His grey eyes glistened.

“I’m Esor. You are?” Esor stuck out a large hand.

“Jeff Alkore. How do you know there was more than one?” Jeff asked. Esor looked down for a moment.

“There were two separate foot prints. The person wasn’t wearing shoes last night, so it was easy to tell.

[JGJTan]

Ham in the toaster is yum

Anyways all good so far And it doesn't matter if a tiny bit may resemble the Eye of the World - inspiration always has to come from somewhere. Good story altogether so far!

Keep up the good work

[alkore]

Quick quiestion, anyone know how to make those really tight maps you see in books all the time?

[JGJTan]

You mean like those tiny maps that are like 1 or 2 pages across? I have no idea... paint lol?

[cjjones]

If you mean the maps that they have at the start of books that have everything in the 'world', then I'd probably draw it by hand (although I'm a lousy artist, I'd still try) unless you're really good with a decent image editting program (Photoshop, for example)... I haven't been reading your book, but if I see it on the shelf, then I'll by it