[CongressJon]

All right, just got Roadtoad's entry, will be getting it up for the judges to see. Keep on writing!

[Ruckus Fox]

I'd prefer a bit more time...But..I'll do it...Not sure what I'll do it on..but..I'll think of something.

---Ruckus the Rogue

[Zziggywolf5]

I guess I'll be a contestant.
I am sure I have some junky story to enter.

[Mobster101]

More time? are you kiding me? Three days is all it took me to right 15 microsoft word pages! jeese...slow writers here..

[CongressJon]

Well, got Ziggy's story. We now have four entries, including mine. A few more won't hurt, but I think we've now got a real contest going on!

[asyluman]

More time? are you kiding me? Three days is all it took me to right 15 microsoft word pages! jeese...slow writers here..

Quality, not quantity, is the essence of good writing.

[CongressJon]

More time? are you kiding me? Three days is all it took me to right 15 microsoft word pages! jeese...slow writers here..

Quality, not quantity, is the essence of good writing.

Couldn't've said it better myself.

[Grae_Face]

Do I post my entry here?

[Zziggywolf5]

Just PM it to Hyper.

[Dragonman]

Arrrrgh, Hyper, pleaaase shorten your story. So much too read, that'll be difficult to grade for a first competition. Make you can enter parts of it into separate lit. contests. it looks good but is too Cspace-length-like.

[CongressJon]

Arrrrgh, Hyper, pleaaase shorten your story. So much too read, that'll be difficult to grade for a first competition. Make you can enter parts of it into separate lit. contests. it looks good but is too Cspace-length-like.

I may submit a poem that I once wrote, much shorter, but this has a higher chance of winning! WAN!

[Superchao II]

Well, I made this story for my coursework.. If you copy it and use it as your own, its plagerism Or however its spelt.. >.<

Betrayal

4 ages ago, three mighty gods agreed to infuse a planet with life. Zurillith, Grieba
and Sindoth couldn’t decide on who claimed the world. After an age long battle, the Gods were weakened and battle scarred. They decided to have joint control over the world, but Zurilith didn’t want to share power with his brothers. He caused death and decay in the northern hemisphere of this world. They named this world Amaranth.

It was a beautiful morning in Jamul, a silent village on the outskirts of Brimhaden.
The sun’s rays were piercing through the early morning darkness, creating what seemed like a surreal painting across the star filled sky.

In a single, cosy little house on the bay of Jamul, a young man is writing in his journal, a peaceful and calm expression across his face.

2nd year of the 4th age

Once again, it has been a tranquil day.

Soon, the day of new beginnings will arrive. I am not looking forward to leaving my two sons and wife, but I have this ... yearning to prove myself as an individual. People tell me that I should be thankful of a loving family, nice job and pleasant surroundings, but it just doesn’t seem like I have fully reached my potential.

Almost all of the preparations are made, all I need is to finish my lumber harvesting today and have a word with the guardhouse, and then I’ll be on my way.

Andrew

Upon finishing his journal entry, Andrew hastily began his final jobs around the village before his journey early the following morning. As he passed the town hall, he noticed Hemath, a much respected elder of Jamul. “Good morning Andrew!” said Hemath, a certain excitement within his voice. “Hi there Hemath how’s the family?” replied Andrew. “Oh, they’re fine, they’re fine...” answered Hemath; a slight depression entered his tone.


“Listen!” chuckled Hemath, the usual, happy tone had arisen again. “I’ve been working on a new potion that should cure spots!” he said proudly, a huge grin on his face. “I’ve tested it on my daughter, and she said it worked almost straightaway! ... But then she came out in a terrible rash.” he sighed. “People these days can never get a good spot cure, I wonder if it’ll ever change” he said, staring up at the now orange sky.





As Andrew headed towards Ashfall Forest, he came across a scroll with a simple piece of string binding it together. At first, Andrew looked around to check if someone had dropped it, but the open green was deserted.


He casually picked up the scroll, and carefully removed the string from the center. The scroll was covered in language that muttered nothing but rubbish to Andrew. He knew it must be some kind of elf writing, but he had not paid attention in any of his mentors’ lessons on the subject.


””

Andrew simply stared at the scroll, bewildered by its mysterious and enchanting print. Why was a scroll with writing of an ancient race laying there, with no-one nearby, in a simple village like Jamul? These were questions that Andrew must seek the answer to.
The sun was glaring high above Jamul now, and the village peasants were starting to awaken and being working.


Strangely enough, Andrew feared venturing into Ashfall forest this morning. The scroll he had acquired made him feel like he was being watched. “I think I’ll find out what this scroll means before I go back to my workshop in Ashfall...” he cautiously mumbled. But no-one knew what it meant. He tried everywhere, not even Hemath knew of the language.


Disappointed and confused, Andrew once again headed into Ashfall forest to finally begin lumber harvesting for his family during the cold season. When he entered the forest, he stopped to stare at the beauty of nature. The animals were frolicking through the bushes and the morning dew on the ash trees was glimmering in the sunlight.


The hornbeam tree is what made Ashfall the chosen harvesting point for Jamul. Its magical branches are said to burn brightly for a whole day, and whoever stares at its flames will instantly feel warm and happy. Because of his attitude towards nature, the hornbeam tree allowed Andrew to take one branch every 7 days. Today was the day that he could obtain another branch, which is why he was in a hurry to get the job done.







After an hour or so of hard work, Andrew headed home with a wagon of lumber for his family throughout the cold season. He still needed to talk to the guard house, on the edge of the Mountain. Putting on his studded leather boots, Andrew hastened to the guardhouse to discuss future plans for defending Jamul from the Shades that lived within the dark shadows of Mount Rathdrum.


“Halt! What business have you, peasant?” demanded the guard. “I need to discuss future plans with the head guard, let me pass” replied Andrew, a cold stare in his eyes. “The head guard wishes to be left alone at this time” noted the guard, a slight quiver in his voice due to the cold stare Andrew was giving him. “Well, surely you will let me see him if it concerns the future of Jamul?” Andrew whispered. “Alright peasant” replied the guard.

The broad wooden gates opened, revealing a barrack and commanding tent. Danith, the head guard of Jamul, came out of the tent to greet Andrew. “Afternoon peasant” Danith said. “Afternoon Danith” replied Andrew, getting straight to the point. “I’m simply here to ask if you are handling the Shade problem well” Andrew said. “Its fine Andrew, no need to worry!” replied Danith. Satisfied by the reply, Andrew headed home.

With the short but to the point reply, Andrew ran home to eat his dinner and rest up ready for the biggest journey of his life. Early the next morning, Andrew woke to the sound of cheering. Startled, he quickly got his bag and a picture of his family, and headed outside to the town hall to see what the cheering was about.

Suddenly, Andrew stopped, frozen with astonishment. The cheering was for him, a send-off party organized by his two sons. “Go Andrew! Make us proud!” shouted some of the peasant folk, waving their hands and shouting with the crowd. Happy that everyone was sending him off in a positive manner, Andrew grabbed his backpack, his climbing boots and a support staff, and gave one last hug to his family.

Walking away from his homeland, Andrew neared the base of Mount Rathdrum. Sighing as he turns his head away from Jamul, he begins to scale the dangerous and dark shadow side of the mountain, always wary of the shades that wait in the darkness.
Slowly ascending the rocks, Andrew finally reached the barrier gate. “I have never gone as far away from Jamul before...” said Andrew, depression riddled his face.

The gate was very threatening, the language of the shades written in a blood red, with hand marks and a huge “STOP” written across the middle. Andrew wasn’t shaken by this warning though, and carried on through the gate to the mountainous region of Serpentill. Cautiously moving through the forbidden path, Andrew noticed that his courage had improved already. He was becoming just who he said he would be.






After hours of continuous walking, nightfall had arrived in the mountains.
Andrew knew he needed to either get out, or set up a place to sleep. The shrill cries of the shades as they woke was too much for Andrew, so he decided to press on in hope that he wouldn’t meet one of the dark hooded creatures.


Andrew’s luck had run out however, two minutes after deciding to press on, he heard the scream of a shade very close to him. Looking around desperately, Andrew remembered what little he had learnt from his mentor. “Shades don’t like light; it’s as simple as that”. Astonished that Andrew had even paid attention during school, he quickly dropped his backpack and withdrew a torch coated in ground hornbeam powder.

Snatching a piece of flint from his side pocket, he ignited the torch and stood ready for any shade that wanted to come near. “Death overwhelms you...” whispered a shade, Andrew struggling to hear it‘s words. “I don’t mean you any harm shade” replied Andrew quietly, hoping that the cold icy grip on his neck would fade. Gradually, the grip faded, and Andrew moved away, torch in hand.

After a disastrous start to his travels, Andrew finally came across the distant town of Faladrim. Walking up to the main gate, Andrew shouted up to the watchtower. “Excuse me, sir!” he shouted. “I have come from Jamul, are there any lodgings here?” he asked. “But that is through the mountains? You walked through the mountains at night? You are brave, adventurer...” said the amazed guard, staring at Andrew as if he was some Hero. “Take a left at the main hall, and you’ll find the jolly pig inn” answered the guard, after staring at Andrew for a few seconds.

Faladrim at night was fantastic. The stars twinkled with a glow similar to Jamul, which made Andrew comfortable and relaxed. He walked into the hallway of the Jolly pig inn, and immediately noticed a cloaked figure in the corner, sitting alone. Walking over towards the shady figure, Andrew tried to engage in a conversation.

"Evening" Andrew said, as politely as he could possibly be. The cloaked figure looked up. The dark, unseen face became just visible in the candlelight. Her expression was beautiful and intelligent; her eyes looked caring and compassionate. Her hands were the most delicate things Andrew had ever seen.

"Yes?" replied the stranger. "Oh, nothing, I was just saying hello. Sorry to have bothered you" answered Andrew. The stranger looked up, and smiled, it was a woman. "You're not causing me any problems mortal" said the woman, her eyes glowing with a deep ocean blue. "I'm glad to know that!" Andrew sighed with relief. "I'm sorry if I'm being rude, but what exactly... are you?" said Andrew. Quickly noting this question was impolite, he added "You see I'm a new adventurer from the village of Jamul. I don't know anyone..." he said quietly.





"Oh, I get many people asking me that" laughed the woman. "I'm a crossbreed. Half elf, half human" she replied, and smiled as Andrew looked at her amazed. "That's incredible!" said Andrew ecstatically, a new & happy expression lit up on his face. "Well, my name is Andrew" he said, hoping for her to reveal her name. "Nice to meet you Andrew, I’m Ralume” she replied, smiling.

After a peaceful nights rest, Andrew set out to his next destination, the huge city of Ardoryn. Just before leaving the north gate of Faladrim, Andrew was beckoned by a shouting woman. “Andrew!” shouted Ralume; she had all her possessions with her. “What’s wrong?” questioned Andrew. “Let me come with you” replied Ralume. “I know the path to Ardoryn, and you’ll need some company!” she smiled. “Besides, you never know what could happen!” she continued happily. “Sure, that’d be fantastic, thanks” Andrew chuckled.

As they set off, Andrew had already started to ask questions about where Ralume came from, what special abilities she had as a crossbreed, the questions were endless for an eager young adventurer. “Oh, I have quite a few abilities” replied Ralume, trying to stop the endless flow of questions. “I have the power to illuminate places, and my senses are much sharper than that of normal mortals” she boasted. “Right then” said Andrew. “Where are we heading?” he asked. “To the well of neutrality, that will teleport us to the Cities boundaries” she replied.

The change of atmosphere was unbelievable. Only 5 minutes ago, they had been walking through the pleasant country towards the well of neutrality, and now they were near a dark, evil cave. “This cave...” Andrew muttered. “It seems to negate the light’s effects” he said, scared. “Yes, unfortunately the well is through this cavern. You can’t expect a long distance teleport without some traps and death, can you?” she answered, trying to add some humour to their depressing situation.

“Wait a second!” Andrew said, as Ralume was entering the cave. “Is this the cave of Narzhak?” he asked very shocked. “How did you know its name?” replied Ralume, suddenly sounding surprised that a peasant knew of such a dreadful place. “This cave... my father died here” Andrew said, a sudden fury had ignited in his eyes. “It’s because of this place that my father never returned to Jamul!” he said, angered by the suggestion of going through.

“My childhood was cut short because of the death of my father” Andrew explained, trying to remain calm like Ralume advised. “He never came home, and then we received a letter from Faladrim’s royal guard, saying they found him, mutilated and distraught” Andrew said sadly. “This is why I’m here, to prove myself as a father, and not to follow in my father’s footsteps”. Andrew said with determination, he wasn’t going to let his father’s burial ground sway him off course.





“That is a very noble cause” Ralume said, trying to compliment Andrew to calm him down. “The reason I came with you is because you’re the person I’ve been waiting for. My brethren told me that someone with an honest heart would pass through Faladrim, and that I needed to assist them whenever possible. That’s why I’m here” she said, slightly embarrassed that Andrew was smiling at her cause.

“Any other men that I thought could be the one either acted cruel towards others, or were seeking wealth. That is definitely not a trait of an honest & kind person” she continued, her usual calm voice had returned. “I see, so because I came over and spoke with you, I’m the guy you’re looking for?” Andrew replied, quite nervous about being part of a prophecy. “Well, yes” Ralume said, trying not to make the situation any more uncomfortable for Andrew before they entered the cave of Narzhak.

The light of the outside world was now depleted. Ralume had activated her glow ability, and the amulet around her neck served as the source of a strong green colour.
“Well, at least the light is some comfort” said Andrew, trying to keep his spirits up after realizing he was now standing in the cave of his father’s demise. Fifteen minutes after entering the cave of Narzhak, Andrew and Ralume came across a huge gate, with a huge passage written in elves language carved into the wood.

””

“Ralume” addressed Andrew; he had already worked out what the inscription was about. “Yes Andrew?” Ralume said, turning and holding up the amulet to Andrew’s face to see his expression. “I recognize this inscription, but only recently” he said, swinging his backpack over his shoulder onto the floor. “I’m starting to believe in your prophecy” Andrew continued. “I find this on the grass near my home in Jamul, can you translate it?” Andrew explained, handing Ralume the scroll.

“Then my hunch was right” mumbled Ralume, her expression deep in thought and wonder. “Right, this might be a trap. So I need you to stand behind me, alright?” said Ralume, a sudden and fearful tone in her voice as she stared back up at the huge Oak doors. “But, if it’s a trap, why are you trying to disarm it?” Andrew hastily asked, trying to get an answer from Ralume before she started chanting. “Like I said Andrew” said Ralume, with her back to Andrew. “You never know what will happen”.

TO BE CONTINUED ... (Well, actually, I have finished it but the whole story is 27 A4 pages long..) The Square Characters are code that this forum doesn't support, basically symbols..

[CongressJon]

I'll add it as an official submission... But might I suggest PM'ing the whole thing to me?

[Dragonman]

Well, I've read and judged two submissions so far and have found that "style" is very hard to judge. You either have it or you don't. Do you tuink you could switch the "Style" part to "Creativity/Uniqueness"? It'll be much easier to judge.

[CongressJon]

Do you tuink you could switch the "Style" part to "Creativity/Uniqueness"? It'll be much easier to judge.

Most definately! Done.