[Mobster101]

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After the Mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor replied "When I am worried about getting nervous in the pulpit, I put a large glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I get nervous, I take a sip".
So the next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advise. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass he found the following note on the door.
1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 Commandments, not 12
3. There are 12 Disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey he did not "bet his ***"
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as "the late J.C."
7. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not referred to as "Daddy, junior and the spook".
8. David slew Goliath he did not "kick the **** out of him"
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was "stoned off his ***".
10. We do not refer to the Cross as "the big T".
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said "take this and eat it as it is my body", he did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the cherry".
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God"



If this is realy offensive to anyone PLEASE delete it imidiatly..but it is funny...hehhe

[BubbaMurphy]

Ya know theres a joke forum?

[Mobster101]

hehe, couldn't find it..plus this is kinda offensive to some so I figured aI put it as insanity spam.

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