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Top Things You Wish You Could Say At Work

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Posted 15 May 2005 - 07:30 PM

THE TOP 23 THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY AT WORK

1. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
2. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
3. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
5. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
6. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
7. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
8. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
9. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
10. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
13. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
14. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
15. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
16. No, my powers can only be used for good.
17. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
18. You sound reasonable......time to up my medication.
19. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
20. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
21. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
22. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
23. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
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