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#31262
JGJTan 
- Smile and be happy. =)
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Posted 06 May 2006 - 09:56 PM
*hugs Ariana*
Ari hax!
Ari hax!
^^ Thanks Ayumi, you rock!! ^^
How many five-year-olds could you take in a fight?
Red Carnation, Hibiscus. Spiderflower. White Violet... Peony?
Click here to learn about the language of flowers
#31263
©allum
- Senior Member
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- Group: Member
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Posted 06 May 2006 - 10:42 PM
Voice Over: Arthur Figgis is an idiot. A village idiot. Tonight we look at the idiot in society.
Cut to close-up of Figgis talking to camera. Very big close-up losing the top and bottom of his head.
Figgis: (educated voice) Well I feel very keenly that the idiot is a part of the old village system, and as such has a vital role to play in a modern rural society, because you see ... (suddenly switches to rural accent) ooh ar ooh ar before the crops go gey are in the medley crun and the birds slides nightly on the oor ar ... (vicar passes and gives him sixpence) Ooh ar thankee, Vicar ... (educated voice) There is this very real need in society for someone whom almost anyone can look down on and ridicule. And this is the role that ... ooh ar naggy gamly rangle tandie oogly noogle Goblie oog ... (passing lady gives him sixpence) Thank you, Mrs Thompson... this is the role that I and members of my family have fulfilled in this village for the past four hundred years... Good morning, Mr Jenkins, ICI have increased their half-yearly dividend, I see.
We see Mr Jenkins pass, he is also an idiot, identically dressed.
Mr Jenkins: Yes, splendid.
Figgis: That's Mr Jenkins - he's another idiot. And so you see the idiot does provide a vital psycho-social service for this community. Oh, excuse me, a coach party has just arrived. I shall have to fall off the wall, I'm afraid.
He falls backwards off the wall. Cut to Figgins in idiot's costume coming out of a suburban home. He walks on to the lawn on which are several pieces of gym equipment. He runs head-on into horse (speeded up) and falls over, concussed.
Voice Over: Arthur takes idiotting seriously. He is up at six o'clock every morning working on special training equipment designed to keep him silly. And of course he takes great pride in his appearance.
Figgis, dressed in nice clean smock, jumps into a pond. He immediately scrambles up, pulls out a mirror and pats mud an his face critically, as if making-up.
Voice Over: Like the doctor, the blacksmith, the carpenter, Mr Figgis is an important figure in this village and - like them - he uses the local bank.
Village square. A bank. Figgis is walking towards it. People giggling and pointing. He goes into a silly routine. Figgis enters the bank. Cut to bank manager standing outside bank.
CAPTION: 'M. BRANDO - BANK MANAGER'
Bank Manager: Yes, we have quite a number of idiots banking here.
Voice Over: What kind of money is there in idioting?
Manager: Well nowadays a really blithering idiot can make anything up to ten thousand pounds a year - if he's the head of some big industrial combine. But of course, the more old-fashioned idiot still refuses to take money.
We see Figgis handing over a cheque to cashier; cashier pushes across a pile of moss, pebbles, bits of wood and acorns.
Manager: (voice over) He takes bits of string, wood, dead budgerigars, sparrows, anything, but it does make the cashier's job very difficult; but of course they're fools to themselves because the rate of interest over ten years on a piece of moss or a dead vole is almost negligible.
Cut to close-up of Figgis talking to camera. Very big close-up losing the top and bottom of his head.
Figgis: (educated voice) Well I feel very keenly that the idiot is a part of the old village system, and as such has a vital role to play in a modern rural society, because you see ... (suddenly switches to rural accent) ooh ar ooh ar before the crops go gey are in the medley crun and the birds slides nightly on the oor ar ... (vicar passes and gives him sixpence) Ooh ar thankee, Vicar ... (educated voice) There is this very real need in society for someone whom almost anyone can look down on and ridicule. And this is the role that ... ooh ar naggy gamly rangle tandie oogly noogle Goblie oog ... (passing lady gives him sixpence) Thank you, Mrs Thompson... this is the role that I and members of my family have fulfilled in this village for the past four hundred years... Good morning, Mr Jenkins, ICI have increased their half-yearly dividend, I see.
We see Mr Jenkins pass, he is also an idiot, identically dressed.
Mr Jenkins: Yes, splendid.
Figgis: That's Mr Jenkins - he's another idiot. And so you see the idiot does provide a vital psycho-social service for this community. Oh, excuse me, a coach party has just arrived. I shall have to fall off the wall, I'm afraid.
He falls backwards off the wall. Cut to Figgins in idiot's costume coming out of a suburban home. He walks on to the lawn on which are several pieces of gym equipment. He runs head-on into horse (speeded up) and falls over, concussed.
Voice Over: Arthur takes idiotting seriously. He is up at six o'clock every morning working on special training equipment designed to keep him silly. And of course he takes great pride in his appearance.
Figgis, dressed in nice clean smock, jumps into a pond. He immediately scrambles up, pulls out a mirror and pats mud an his face critically, as if making-up.
Voice Over: Like the doctor, the blacksmith, the carpenter, Mr Figgis is an important figure in this village and - like them - he uses the local bank.
Village square. A bank. Figgis is walking towards it. People giggling and pointing. He goes into a silly routine. Figgis enters the bank. Cut to bank manager standing outside bank.
CAPTION: 'M. BRANDO - BANK MANAGER'
Bank Manager: Yes, we have quite a number of idiots banking here.
Voice Over: What kind of money is there in idioting?
Manager: Well nowadays a really blithering idiot can make anything up to ten thousand pounds a year - if he's the head of some big industrial combine. But of course, the more old-fashioned idiot still refuses to take money.
We see Figgis handing over a cheque to cashier; cashier pushes across a pile of moss, pebbles, bits of wood and acorns.
Manager: (voice over) He takes bits of string, wood, dead budgerigars, sparrows, anything, but it does make the cashier's job very difficult; but of course they're fools to themselves because the rate of interest over ten years on a piece of moss or a dead vole is almost negligible.
This post has been edited by I changed this to be annoying: 06 May 2006 - 10:45 PM
#31265
JGJTan
- Smile and be happy. =)
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- Group: Moderator
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Posted 07 May 2006 - 01:33 AM
My cursor is moving along the screen... and I'm not even touching my mouse and it doesn't look like it's moving at all...
*runs off to mow the lawns*
*runs off to mow the lawns*
^^ Thanks Ayumi, you rock!! ^^
How many five-year-olds could you take in a fight?
Red Carnation, Hibiscus. Spiderflower. White Violet... Peony?
Click here to learn about the language of flowers
#31267
Rohtaren
- no chief big fart
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- Group: New Member
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Posted 07 May 2006 - 01:54 AM
how would you know that?n
i mean, all the grades i get in school are As and a B. the B is in spanish, everything else is an A.
to me being an idiot means you are an idiot and act strangely, you might also be a nerd when you are an idiot.
i mean, all the grades i get in school are As and a B. the B is in spanish, everything else is an A.
to me being an idiot means you are an idiot and act strangely, you might also be a nerd when you are an idiot.
This post has been edited by Rohtaren: 07 May 2006 - 01:55 AM
#31269
JGJTan
- Smile and be happy. =)
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Posted 07 May 2006 - 02:06 AM
No comment. 
^^ Thanks Ayumi, you rock!! ^^
How many five-year-olds could you take in a fight?
Red Carnation, Hibiscus. Spiderflower. White Violet... Peony?
Click here to learn about the language of flowers
#31271
JGJTan
- Smile and be happy. =)
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- Group: Moderator
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- Joined: 24-September 03
Posted 07 May 2006 - 02:09 AM
Ok. I admit it. I laughed.
A lot.
A lot.
^^ Thanks Ayumi, you rock!! ^^
How many five-year-olds could you take in a fight?
Red Carnation, Hibiscus. Spiderflower. White Violet... Peony?
Click here to learn about the language of flowers
#31273
©allum
- Senior Member
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Posted 07 May 2006 - 02:19 AM
EDIT: It changes from year to year, you'd need to speak with someone from the World Village Idiot Authority (WVIA) for details on it.
This post has been edited by I changed this to be annoying: 07 May 2006 - 02:20 AM