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Stupid Jokes

#1 {lang:macro__useroffline}   CongressJon {lang:icon}

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 04:18 PM

This is a really stupid joke, but what the heck. Also, I've got two.

The rabbit, the turtle, and the lion were great friends. They were setting up a farm to make a living.
One day, the lion said, "We need manure, I'll get it" But the rabbit said, "No, I'll get it - I'm faster." So the lion replied, "Okay, but it'll take a year." "Okay" said the rabbit. As the year went by, the lion and turtle were digging a well, when they struck oil. They got a mansion and all the fancy stuff including a weird butler.

The year ended, and the rabbit came back for his friends, and he found a mansion. He knocked on the door, but the butler appeared. The rabbit said, "Can I talk to the lion or the turtle please?" The butler, being his usual mean self, said grumpily, "The Li-EN, is in the den, and the tur-TEL is at the well. So what do you want?"

The rabbit, highly offended, by the butler's tone, replied, "Well tell them the ra-BIT, got the sh-t.


It stinks doesn't it? bluetongue.gif


Next joke:

Three prisoners from Afghanistan were locked up on the top floor of the Eiffel Tower. One had a sword, one had a gun, and one had a small bomb.
The first prisoner said, I'll NEVER get out of here! and threw his sword out of the window. The next day, he was released. On his way back home, he saw a little boy who was crying. He said, "What's wrong?" The boy replied, "A sword fell out of the sky and killed my only sister." The criminal replied, "aw, i'm sorry, NOT"

The next day, the second prisoner said, "I'M NEVER GONNA GET OUTTA HERE!!!!" and threw his gunout the window. The following morning, he was released. On his way home, he saw the same boy. He was crying. The criminal said, "What's wrong?" The boy replied, "A gun fell out of the sky, and hit the ground and shot my daddy in the head.." The criminal said, "Aw that's toobad, NOT"

The very next day, the final criminal said, "Well, I'm never gonna get outta here" and threw his mini-bomb out the window. The next day, he was also released. On his way home, he saw the boy. This time he was laughing. The criminal said, "Why are you laughing?" The boy said, "My mommy farted and blew up the house." bluetongue.gif
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#2 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Phieta {lang:icon}

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Posted 21 July 2003 - 06:51 AM

QUOTE (Hyperfried @ Jul 20 2003, 11:18 AM)
Three prisoners from Afghanistan were locked up on the top floor of the Eiffel Tower. One had a sword, one had a gun, and one had a small bomb.
The first prisoner said, I'll NEVER get out of here! and threw his sword out of the window. The next day, he was released. On his way back home, he saw a little boy who was crying. He said, "What's wrong?" The boy replied, "A sword fell out of the sky and killed my only sister." The criminal replied, "aw, i'm sorry, NOT"

The next day, the second prisoner said, "I'M NEVER GONNA GET OUTTA HERE!!!!" and threw his gunout the window. The following morning, he was released. On his way home, he saw the same boy. He was crying. The criminal said, "What's wrong?" The boy replied, "A gun fell out of the sky, and hit the ground and shot my daddy in the head.." The criminal said, "Aw that's toobad, NOT"

The very next day, the final criminal said, "Well, I'm never gonna get outta here" and threw his mini-bomb out the window. The next day, he was also released. On his way home, he saw the boy. This time he was laughing. The criminal said, "Why are you laughing?" The boy said, "My mommy farted and blew up the house." bluetongue.gif

AAAAH! IT'S THE "THREE GUYS" JOKES!

Seriously... one of my friends knows like 10 jokes involving 2 normally intelligent guys (from south africa and mexico) and one stupid guy (from america). It's kind of like a series that finally ends with the death of the American. Anyway the first one is like the 2nd joke you had, except they're in an overweight plane so they throw out stuff they have a lot of in their country (gold for the south african, silver for the mexican, and a bomb for the american). They end up crashing, but they survive.

Next one: They're walking back home, but it's across a desert (well not really a desert but it's really hot). The South African says, "I wish I had a swimming pool right now." The Mexican says, "That's stupid, the water would get hot pretty fast! I wish I had a refridgerator so I could get out some nice cold beer." The American says, "Nah, I'm smarter than you two. I want a car door so I can roll the window down!"

This post has been edited by phieta27: 21 July 2003 - 06:54 AM

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#3 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Star Jedi {lang:icon}

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Post icon  Posted 21 July 2003 - 08:54 AM

Lol, those are really good biglaugh.gif
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#4 {lang:macro__useroffline}   ©allum {lang:icon}

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Posted 07 August 2003 - 07:02 AM

I dont get hyper's first one. conf.gif conf.gif
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