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The Peanut Butter Debate

#1 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Cspace {lang:icon}

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Posted 07 June 2007 - 04:44 PM

Make up your responses. Don't tell anything that is actually true, but try to sound like you know what you're talking about. grnwacko.gif

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Is peanut butter good or bad? Despite its connection to the extinction of the trilobites, it has great social and economic implications. Many industries such as paper clip manufacturers depend on peanut butter, which could indirectly lead to the depletion of mesospheric Xenon levels.

I'm not going to start with my point of view, but I was wondering what everyone else thought about the issues surrounding peanut butter and its impact on basically everything. Just remember to respect others' views, since this is a debate that many feel very strongly about.
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#2 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Zoo {lang:icon}

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Posted 07 June 2007 - 09:31 PM

Well, it seems to me that people finding elephants have been in their peanut butter is a big problem, since people are all the time asking others how you know if an elephant's been there. If this gets worse, we could soon face a shortage of peanut butter, since elephants are so big and would gladly eat as much as they find. In fact, if it -does- get worse, the elephants may be come so obese that they make dents in the ground just from standing around. This could lead to a water distribution different from normal, so some places will flood, and others will turn into a desert. At the same time, the world will be short of peanut butter cookies! In time, if the shortage is not corrected, the purple-ringed toads in Suriname, moose, and plush leopards will go extinct. They all depend on peanut butter cookies to keep their vehicles running, which aid them in habitat selection and foraging. If they run out, they can't go anywhere, and thus will be unable to eat (which leads to starvation), or move away from others of their families (which could lead to inbreeding, and fatal genetic diseases).
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#3 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Skyone {lang:icon}

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Posted 07 June 2007 - 09:35 PM

Peanut butter is causing problems for people and many families all around the world. It is said they they find animal waist and that they are made out of butterflies which it's wings are used for any spices and other nutrients which are found in the peanut butter. They are al so causing problems for worms that are having trouble slithering because of the peanut butter that is destroying the Earth.
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#4 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Res {lang:icon}

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Posted 08 June 2007 - 04:46 AM

Honestly I have no problem with peanut butter. Aside from the fact that my brother has deathly allergic reactions to it, it's cool.

A side note...
When Carver invented Peanut butter, he didn't know the versatility of the product. From my current knowledge, it's been used as pipe cleaner, grout scrubber, plaster, and underwater adhesive.

But I see what Zoo says when it comes to the Elephants making holes in the ground. I mean, too much of it for any of us could be quite dangerous. Too much of a good thing, you know.

Latest I heard, though... The FDA was planning to take it off every shelf out there because of the said environmental impacts it's been causing recently. I can understand removing it as a food product, but not when it has so many other uses, too.
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#5 {lang:macro__useroffline}   ©allum {lang:icon}

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Posted 08 June 2007 - 09:27 AM

Never liked it much, but something I do know about it... Crunchy > Smooth
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#6 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Aaron {lang:icon}

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Posted 09 June 2007 - 05:09 AM

QUOTE(©allum @ Jun 8 2007, 04:27 AM) {lang:macro__view_post}
Crunchy > Smooth


You disappoint me sad.gif .
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#7 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Elvenblader {lang:icon}

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Posted 09 June 2007 - 06:55 PM

Peanut butter is a very affordable food staple of the American Society. In terms of the uses for it when carver invented it, he had no idea it was going to become so mainstream in America. Peanut butter is cheap, tasty and is a food that has formed many derivatives and deviations. Ranging from Peanut Butter Cookies to Peanut Butter Ice Cream. Its amazing at how dynamic and versatile the great peanut butter has become. So I say yes for Peanut Butter.

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#8 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Bobette {lang:icon}

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Posted 09 June 2007 - 11:24 PM

Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves!
Peanut butter, since it's discovery in 1908 B.C., has been destroying lives and tearing families apart! In the U.S. an average of $180,000 yearly, per household, is spent on peanut butter alone, (not to mention jelly, with it's sky-rocketing prices)! Because of peanut butter, millions of infants and children have been sold into slavery for a mere one jar a child, and the ones who manage not to be sold and who would otherwise be leaving for college next year are stuck at home after their college funds are wasted on (what else?) peanut butter. Nursing homes are frequently raided and organs are harvested for sale on the black market, two kidneys and a lung being equal to 1/2 jar.
The FDA may have approved the sale of peanut butter, but they do not regulate what is printed on it's labels. The dangers and side-effects of ingesting peanut butter are kept quiet by companies like Unilever (makers of Skippy brand peanut butter) and the J.M. Smucker company (makers of Jif brand peanut butter). Companies such as these mention on their product labels that peanut butter is an "excellent source of protein", but do they mention the risk of developing Appendicitis, Toe Cancer, development of a fourth set of molars (Exceptionally Knowledgeable Teeth, or EKT), and the risk of growing a third arm during infancy? I didn't think so. By 2008, it has been predicted that 1 out of 10 infants will be born with large, peanut-butter-filled cysts on their brains, and later 3 out of every 5 will develope a third arm somewhere in their abdominal region. These cyst can easily (and more often than not) become cancerous, and put the infant's life at risk.

Do you really want that on your conscience?
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#9 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Atilla {lang:icon}

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Posted 10 June 2007 - 12:50 AM

QUOTE(©allum @ Jun 8 2007, 03:27 AM) {lang:macro__view_post}
Never liked it much, but something I do know about it... Crunchy > Smooth

Lies. All lies.

And, peanut butter gets stuck to the roof of my mouth.
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#10 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Bobette {lang:icon}

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Posted 10 June 2007 - 02:17 AM

QUOTE(Scourge_of_God @ Jun 9 2007, 07:50 PM) {lang:macro__view_post}
And, peanut butter gets stuck to the roof of my mouth.

Yet another reason why it should be banned.
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#11 {lang:macro__useroffline}   ©allum {lang:icon}

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Posted 10 June 2007 - 08:41 AM

Down with smooth!
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#12 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Atilla {lang:icon}

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Posted 11 June 2007 - 02:40 AM

But smooth is so...smoooooooth!



And here's a much better reason to like smooth:


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#13 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Elvenblader {lang:icon}

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Posted 13 June 2007 - 10:27 AM

QUOTE(Bobette @ Jun 9 2007, 04:24 PM) {lang:macro__view_post}
Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves!
Peanut butter, since it's discovery in 1908 B.C., has been destroying lives and tearing families apart! In the U.S. an average of $180,000 yearly, per household, is spent on peanut butter alone, (not to mention jelly, with it's sky-rocketing prices)! Because of peanut butter, millions of infants and children have been sold into slavery for a mere one jar a child, and the ones who manage not to be sold and who would otherwise be leaving for college next year are stuck at home after their college funds are wasted on (what else?) peanut butter. Nursing homes are frequently raided and organs are harvested for sale on the black market, two kidneys and a lung being equal to 1/2 jar.
The FDA may have approved the sale of peanut butter, but they do not regulate what is printed on it's labels. The dangers and side-effects of ingesting peanut butter are kept quiet by companies like Unilever (makers of Skippy brand peanut butter) and the J.M. Smucker company (makers of Jif brand peanut butter). Companies such as these mention on their product labels that peanut butter is an "excellent source of protein", but do they mention the risk of developing Appendicitis, Toe Cancer, development of a fourth set of molars (Exceptionally Knowledgeable Teeth, or EKT), and the risk of growing a third arm during infancy? I didn't think so. By 2008, it has been predicted that 1 out of 10 infants will be born with large, peanut-butter-filled cysts on their brains, and later 3 out of every 5 will develope a third arm somewhere in their abdominal region. These cyst can easily (and more often than not) become cancerous, and put the infant's life at risk.

Do you really want that on your conscience?

Not to be a nag, but exactly where are you coming up with these kinds of figures and statements. I would like to see some evidence cited that proves that infants are being sold into slavery for a jar of peanut butter.



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#14 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Ratty {lang:icon}

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Posted 13 June 2007 - 12:55 PM

QUOTE(Elvenblader @ Jun 13 2007, 08:27 PM) {lang:macro__view_post}
QUOTE(Bobette @ Jun 9 2007, 04:24 PM) {lang:macro__view_post}
Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves!
Peanut butter, since it's discovery in 1908 B.C., has been destroying lives and tearing families apart! In the U.S. an average of $180,000 yearly, per household, is spent on peanut butter alone, (not to mention jelly, with it's sky-rocketing prices)! Because of peanut butter, millions of infants and children have been sold into slavery for a mere one jar a child, and the ones who manage not to be sold and who would otherwise be leaving for college next year are stuck at home after their college funds are wasted on (what else?) peanut butter. Nursing homes are frequently raided and organs are harvested for sale on the black market, two kidneys and a lung being equal to 1/2 jar.
The FDA may have approved the sale of peanut butter, but they do not regulate what is printed on it's labels. The dangers and side-effects of ingesting peanut butter are kept quiet by companies like Unilever (makers of Skippy brand peanut butter) and the J.M. Smucker company (makers of Jif brand peanut butter). Companies such as these mention on their product labels that peanut butter is an "excellent source of protein", but do they mention the risk of developing Appendicitis, Toe Cancer, development of a fourth set of molars (Exceptionally Knowledgeable Teeth, or EKT), and the risk of growing a third arm during infancy? I didn't think so. By 2008, it has been predicted that 1 out of 10 infants will be born with large, peanut-butter-filled cysts on their brains, and later 3 out of every 5 will develope a third arm somewhere in their abdominal region. These cyst can easily (and more often than not) become cancerous, and put the infant's life at risk.

Do you really want that on your conscience?

Not to be a nag, but exactly where are you coming up with these kinds of figures and statements. I would like to see some evidence cited that proves that infants are being sold into slavery for a jar of peanut butter.

Bobette asked me for the specific statistics on Peanut Butter (and Jelly also), and as I have a doctorate in PB and J (Also known as Plausible Beliefs and Judgementalism) I believe that I am more than over-qualified to vouch for the accuracy of her statements. A very famous man (who also happens to be my idol) once said "Great sex is great, but bad sex is like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich." I'm not exactly sure what he meant, as peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are delicious, fruitfal (depends on the jam, I guess.) and quite messy. Oh, that's probably why.

So yes, Peanut butter and Jelly is messy. Don't try to make it in bed.




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#15 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Cspace {lang:icon}

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Posted 13 June 2007 - 08:22 PM

Rat, have you ever thought of what a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is like without the peanut butter? Just a jelly sandwich. Who would want that? eek7.gif

But on the other side, if you put more peanut butter than jelly into the sandwich, it isn't so messy. The peanut butter acts as an industrial strength adhesive that vacuum-seals the jelly inside the bread. I hear that it will maintain its shape in zero gravity, which makes it an ideal lunch for astronauts and time-travelers.

As an added bonus for the time-travelers, the peanut butter is strong enough that the sandwich can be used as a weapon. Never go back in time without one.
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