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Short Story... just read it

#1 {lang:macro__useroffline}   lord yashima {lang:icon}

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 05:33 PM

It was mid-morning in the land, the sun was barely starting to rise, and the birds just coming out. A man walks into the SeeD Inn, a very handsome man, about six feet tall, wearing a black and gold curiass, with black and gold pauldrons and gauntlets. he had on black boots and a black plated skirt. on his back he wore a very elegant robe, also black, with gold outlining. his hair was only as long as his shoulders, jet black. he appeared to be of elven blood, his pointy ears, his deep, passionate eyes..on his back he had a longbow, no one knew exactly what it was made of, it was white, with a black string. he had a massive two handed sword, made of runite. it had elvish writing on the side of the blade. the man sat at a table un der a window, alone, gazing out of it, not paying attention to anyone.
later that night, the man still sat, gazing out of the window. a man walked up to him, "is something bothering you, lad? you have been staring out of that window all day!" the man said. "my name is Lord Yashima, son of the legendary elven warrior, king miroshi." Lord Yashima spoke with the man, who indroduced himself as malkiah, for quite a few hours. telling malkiah of his royal herratage, his land, and a place called the runescape tavern. he tells malkiah to visit the tavern, it might not be all that good to you, he tells mal, but the only way it will improve is if poeple come, join and help.


thank you, please visit the tavern.

Lord Yashima, the great elven prince, son of King Miroshi.

Mod Jarik - removed url - Sory, we don't alow advertising. (if you plan on being active here, you can put it in your sig)
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#2 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Bodom {lang:icon}

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 05:44 PM

So this is basically a post trying to get members for somewhere else...

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#3 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Red Sentinel {lang:icon}

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 06:00 PM

looks like it...
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#4 {lang:macro__useroffline}   lord yashima {lang:icon}

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 06:30 PM

yea but at least theres a cool story to go with it, not just the link....
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#5 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Bodom {lang:icon}

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 06:38 PM

Pretty desperate then.

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#6 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Red Sentinel {lang:icon}

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 06:45 PM

maybe....
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#7 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Bodom {lang:icon}

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 08:10 PM

Hehe anyway yeah, story was cool i guess bluetongue.gif

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#8 {lang:macro__useroffline}   lord yashima {lang:icon}

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 01:59 AM

yea, what a clan you guys are, do you all get off by dissing the new peeps? well ya know what?? ..you guys too! you say that your a peaceful and nice clan, i heard you guys were the best but your all a bunch of .. noobs that do nothing but dis on newcomers posts!




.. you all!

StarJedi: I'm sorry, but if you go visit another clan and post a link to your forums, you will most likely get flamed at. We have not flamed you and we didn't even delete this topic; we removed the link peacefully. You are able to post in the Newcommer's board, and I'm 100% you will be welcomed there. Please to not curse us though, for that could lead to trouble.
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#9 {lang:macro__useroffline}   obiwan22 {lang:icon}

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 02:10 AM

You're basing an entire clan on two members... Whatever_anim.gif
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#10 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Star Jedi {lang:icon}

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 02:53 AM

Yashima, we our a clan in ourselves, so we or some other clans usually do not allow links for advertisement unless it's an allied clan. Though, you may post in the Newcommer's board, and I'm sure you will be welcomed there.

Edit: Jarik gave you other options, and if you would like, you may put it in your sig. Though we would love to help your clan on request, we don't allow direct advertising, I am sorry. Please do not get this upset at SeeD over this matter.
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#11 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Bodom {lang:icon}

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 08:42 PM

Ok then....

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#12 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Xemem {lang:icon}

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 08:42 PM

story was okay...but the word black apears alot(8 times within about 10 sentences that I counted). Using different words here and there just so it does not sound like reideration would work well(like how you used jet black at one point, you could also substitute one or two with the word pitch). when you keep saying the same word over and over again, it kind of makes the eye skim over it instead of really focusing on the read. But I did like the details, and the effort to convey the mood of the man.
Posted Image

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#13 {lang:macro__useroffline}   Stargate3216 {lang:icon}

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Posted 19 November 2004 - 12:16 AM

ok.
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