CurvedSpace Forums: Trouble with one of my freinds... (Long) - CurvedSpace Forums

Ok, lengthy post, read the whole thing.
If you're not gonna say anything intelligent, please leave.

EDIT: Sorry if some of the filters confuse you, I copied+pasted this from another forum I posted this at.

I have this one freind I've known for almost 3 years now, and she can be a pain in the {expletive antidisestablishmentarianized by Cspace}. She doesn't do anything negative to anyone, but she just screws me over because I make her mad very easily, and all my guy freinds worship the ground she walks, even though she's somewhat plump and is an A-cup (and not exactly stunning, but that could just be my distorted image, so I won't judge). She's really different from every other girl I know. I've had great times, some good long-lasting relationships, and a whole lot of fun with every other girl freind I have, but not her.

She gets pissed for the most random reasons, EVER. For example, she gives these little 'quiz' thingies. We're talking on the phone, and randomly, in the middle of one of my sentances, asks me a random question, like 'What do you like more, boobs or {expletive antidisestablishmentarianized by Cspace}?'. I'm like, 'ugh... I... I dont know...', and she says, 'pick!' and I tell her that I dont know and cant decide for 5 minutes, and then 'she's like GOD DAMMIT PICK ONE JUST FLIP A COIN FFS!'. So I flip a coin, it lands boobs, I tell her, she gets mad. 'It's cause you like (I'll use smileys instead of names for privacy), isn't it? Cause she has bigger boobs than me! (Everyone has bigger boobs than her). I tell her it's not, but she keeps raving about how I shouldn't pretend I don't like:) which she and all her worshippers think is bull{expletive hax0rd by Cspace} (which it is, but she won't let up). Then she brainwashes , the bassist in my band, and now every single practice he won't stop nagging me about her.

Also, she pretends it's my fault I can't hang out with her. And by sheer coincidence I was able to hang out on the day asked, and you could imagine what followed. She asks me to hang out during when my parents are at work, I tell her I'm busy. She doesn't beleive me, we get in an argument, I end up yelling 'FFS I ADMIN 4 FORUMS, 1 WEBSITE, AND MOD 3 MORE FORUMS, LAY OFF PLEASE!' and then she pretends I exploded for no reason and she wasn't bothering me nonstop about how much of a liar I am. Later, she asks if I can come when my parents get home. No, I have to help them with their overloaded lives because if I don't they'll commit suicide from the stress. OMG LIAR YUO DONT HOW COME MY PARENTS DONT HM? (Her parents spoil her silly). She asks if I can sneak out, I say sure, when my parents go to sleep. She calls me at 12 asking why im not out yet. I tell her my parents dont go to sleep until 3 because they're busy with all this work and dont go to sleep till that late. OMG LIAR YUO DONT HOW COME MY PARENTS DONT HM? Again.

She's racist. I hate racist people. She's racist against asians, muslims, and various 3rd world countrymen. The end of the conversation usually looks something like 'it's not ok for blacks to make fun of whites, but its ok for whites to make fun of asians and muslims?' '...well yea.'

She gets mad at me for not putting her in her own category. On my phone, she's with all my girl friends. She's mad about that. Whenever she has a little 'quiz' about how pretty her friends are, I tell her she's the same as everyone else. She's really worse than the rest, but if I say she is, she gets mad. If I say she's better, she goes around bragging about it, which is never good because then the honest, nice girls that I actually like being around get upset. So I tell her she's the same, and she gets really mad.

She takes everything I say in a different light, because I skipped a grade, am an extra grade ahead in math, and am bilingual. So no matter what I say, she has a 'is he being a smartass?' filter. Some things that arn't supposed to be smartass at all she misenterperets. I even showed her recordings of me saying something to her and she getting mad, and then someone else saying it and her laughing. She got mad. Whenever I accomplish something, she just says 'well arn't you just special!' because apperantly the above characteristics are more than any human should posess (sp?). You can imagine how discouraging that is.

If we get in an argument about factual stuff, she gets pissed at me when I prove her wrong, because I'm a smartass and have to be right ALL the time (even though I pretend to be wrong about bogus love just to keep it balanced. FE, I had to pretend fortune cookies really are a genuine ancient chinese custom XD). If anybody else proves her wrong, its ok.

Which leads me to today:
We got in an argument about whether or not there is a difference between Geeks and Dorks. I say yes, she said no. So, she looks it up on one site thats not very credible. She does the 'HA! I WIN! Maybe your not so smart after all!' thing. I go to a slightly more credible source, and copy+paste the definition into the AIM thing. That's it. No rubbing it in, no telling her I'm right, just a copy and paste of the definition.
She explodes.
'Why the love do you always have to work your love off to be right! I proved you wrong, but no, you just had to go and be right! WHY THE love CANT YOU ACCEPT BEING WRONG!'. Long arguement, she ends up blocking me, I talk to my best freind about it, even though he's her boyfreind right now. He takes her side, but eventually I rub the 'I'm just taking her side to get sex' effect off and he agrees with me.

She's making my life a living hell. She forces me to degrade myself to better fit her needs, and the only reason I don't slap her and walk away is because she almost literally controls all my freinds, who are close to me, but if she makes turns them against me, they can be hell. I need help. I can't talk to my parents about it, they just say to wait a little while and things will change. They need to try spending a little while in hell. I cant talk to my best freinds for obvious reasons, and the only girl I'm close enough to talk to this about is , which further complicates things. It's like being in a prison, and nothing goes unchecked. Is something to her dissatisfaction? Uh oh, time to turn everone against me! I need help. Badly. I've come close to the point of going berserk physically, and I'm afraid I might hurt someone I would regret hurting.

Anyone, what to do?

Tell her to stop being a {expletive Chuck Norris'd by Cspace}, you're not trying to annoy her on purpose, she's just being too uptight.

And you'll find out who your true friends are if she tries to turn them against you.

This post has been edited by I changed this to be annoying: 13 July 2006 - 08:16 AM

Not a pretty situation ya got there Xal

Do you call her, or does she call you? Do you actually want to be close friends with her, and if so, does she actually want to too?

It looks like your other friend, , seems like a nice person, You can hang out with her, have fun.. Thats what friends are about... From what i can tell, every time you spend time with (The one you're mainly talking about.. ) it seems that you have an arguement.... Thats not healthy

Im just thinking that somtimes its better off leaving it alone... Theres plenty of other fish in the ocean, and personally speaking, it would be better to get your studies done before getting distracted with girls.

Im not saying to push her away, or anything.. Just dont initiate contact with her, try to keep her calm, and maybe she'll get the message.

And remember, you've always got friends you can talk to. They dont necessarily have to be RL friends either

someones got a crush

That's a friend?

I hate her guts, don't you get the message? <_<

Also, note the 'If you don't have anything intelligent to say, please go away'.

True true.

Dear Hax the Cook:

Hack her IRL and take all her stuff.

Srsly, if you're having such a problem with this self-righteous twit, just drop her. People with that mindset that "Everyone is like me and should be able to do everything I can", "People should always agree with me because I'm right", "I manipulate people to do what I want by putting guilt trips on them", are just bad.

That's what she's doing. Manipulating you and your friends to do what she wants. And stuck-up people like that should be dropped like hot potatoes.

Like people said, just don't initiate contact, and let her keep talking to you. Block her from AIM/MSN/w ever tf and just wane on speaking to her. She'll take the hint soon enough.

Also, if she'll stoop so low as to turn your friends against you for disagreeing with her, you need to find some real friends who know to stand on the right side of an argument.

Sometimes it's best just to say what's on your mind and have people be mad at you than to continue to let them walk all over you. Hell, if you want, you can even clip this article and show it to her to see how much support you have from the people here. Just cut back on her. She's not worth the time/effort/heartache/bullets.

Yours Truly,
Abby

it sounds kind of complicating i mean your probably older than me but ive had lots of problems like that. like one time this girl asked do like my boobs our my *beep* bettr . i said i dont know she kept asking and got mad . well later that i day in class she accuses me of staring at her boobs(which i may have been but there noticable). well i really dont talk to her much anymore not just for that reason but many others to.



so what im saying is you dont have to be her friend i mean dont be mean to her about it just like dont hang out with her. like rat said theres pleny other fish in the sea. just try to ignore her if that doesnt work i dont know what to tell you.



hope this helps u solve ur problem



*bigfoot*

My issue isn't I want to be freinds with her, my issue that is if I'm not, my freinds who I DO want to be freinds with need to have said effects worn off of them before we can do anything like normal people.

No, you really need to stop talking to her. That kind of reaction denotes a total lack of self-confidence and probably and attempt at superiority. Friends are supposed to support you, but any achievement you make is an attempt to best her, meaning that technically, she's not your friend. Don't make me get all psychiatristy on you, just tell her to either accept your accomplishments or to leave you alone.

Your interactions with this girl aren't your other friends' business. They need to understand that.

Personally I think she has unexplained liking feelings for you, it looks like she has some weird attraction to you or something like that since her reactions to things don't seem normal, girls can be complicated and act in ways which don't seem normal to us guys . Although you don't like her because of how she acts, and yes she has a boyfriend, she seems, i dunno.. i get the sense of jealousy by what she says.. like you said about that you like boobs rather than.. the other thing and then she got annoyed, obviously she wants you to feel one way, or have a certain opinion, and because you don't she gets angry about that, you unlike the other guys which she can control have your own seperate unbiased opinion.
Either that or she's annoyed that unlike your friends you don't worship the ground she walks on, whcih is weird because she is the one in the first place acting like that to you, which probablly goes back to what i said that you aren't fooled by anything she does, and she doesn't like that fact.

What to do? Well I would probably try and "get your friends out of the noose of her grip", make your friends see that she isn't what she makes out to be, that or at least get a second person to back you up, then you need to have a massive confrontation with her with the people (preferably her friends that support you), and say how that you can't tolerate how she acts towards you, and if she continues to treat you like "dirt" then you wont be friends with her. I know confrontation gets ugly, but at least you find out any true feelings on all parties.

This is a hard situation and I seriosuly am not entirely sure how I would approach it, yet i would need waaay more information to even begin to assess how to go about this situation. Personally I am not scared to tell anyone how they act towards me, and if someone did treat me like that, they would of been told that I didn't like it etc etc.. but I think I'm rambling now so I shall let you decide what to do.. good luck, but don't do just nothing! Cos it will probably get worse!

Your school sounds rather strange. She is what, 14, 15?



Moving on...

There are a lot of people around like that. I don't think I can help you much, considering how I deal with that type is fairly unorthodox. I do this whole 'obsession' ploy to make them so scared of you they sit on the other side of the room. It might not work for you, but it works for me.

actually nuu my school is rather strange. just for privacy i wont tell you the age all ill say is in between 12-15

This post has been edited by Bigfoot: 14 July 2006 - 06:10 PM

Why is she your friend if she's annoying? Or what so.